my parents are normal working class people and we live in a posh (ish) area and we survived with 3 kids on £25,000 to £30,000 a year. im the only girl so i had hand me down clothes from my older brother and we never really got new toys and things. things like gameboys and playstations were shared between all 3 of us. i used to have second hand clothes when we were really hard up but we never went without things we NEEDED. mum always had a nice cooked dinner ready for us every night and school clothes/shoes etc and we always did things at weekends as a family (lots of bike rides) if my parents could do it, why can i not? my relatively poor upbringing did nothing to harm me. i believe im a better person for not having everything i wanted. i already earn above average for someone newly graduated so kids in the next few years is not an impossible dream.
he died when the kids were 15 and 18. the girl said she grew up in fear that she would come home from school to find him dead. she had to look after him before she was even a teenager. its just wrong, no child should have to go through that.
Go through a parent dying? Nearly everyone does that - and a sizeable number in their teens. The reason that people are having kids older is because it's more expensive to raise children now than it ever was. Edinburgh has the highest rate of childcare costs in Europe. My childcare (for two children four half-days a week) was more than double my mortgage at the time. How many people in their 20s do you know that can afford three mortgages? Not many. I had my eldest when I was 22 - I was unable to provide all I wanted for her. I had my youngest when I was 34 - I'm able to provide a much more stable environment for her and she is getting the better end of the deal. If you can look after your kids with what you have just now, then go for it It doesn't make people who sensibly have kids in their thirties "nutters" as you stated. I know loads of parents and the best ones had their kids in their thirties, mostly whilst the **** ones had their kids young. I'm pretty sure that the older a parent is, the more likely a child is to succeed Obviously, there's the Downs risk with older mothers but a dad can be any age and is better at it if he's older - and the risk in an older female becoming pregnant has recently been shown to previously overstated.
I would imagine it would be because £25,000 to £30,000 a year when you were a kid was not a bad salary.
This is not aimed at you Jen by the way. Too many women i have worked with made a massive fuss about not being paid on a parity with their male workmates, then 2 years down the line she decides to have a baby and take months off on maternity leave meaning the company has to hire someone to do her job for months as well as pay her salary. The fathers get about 10 days SSP or something crap like this. I find it hysterical when women in the armed forces pull this one just before a tour of Afghanistan, cheeky bitches.
How did the human race survive without mortgages and brand spanking new clobber everyday Bib? Send your kids to the local boxing club and they will be fine in the playground.
Both you and Jen have used the word "survive". If the aim of parenting is that your children "survive", then you're aiming really really low. I wasn't having a go at Jen - it's just that the world has changed. In the sixties an entire household could live off one man's working wage - it takes two half decent wages now (or benefits or help). If Jen is financially comfortable, she should go for it - totally But having them before you can afford them simply because you want to get it over with or think you won't have the energy in your 40s is irresponsible. Working and having kids costs WAAAAYYY more than folk who don't have kids (or folk who claim for them) think.
SN. Of course people bend the rules for thenselves but women give birth to and raise our children. They should be given all and any help to do so.
round here that is not a lot! a lot of the houses around here go for £350,00 to £400,000 (so you can image the size of our mortgage) and sometimes a lot more and my dad was still a part time athlete so a lot of the money we had was spent on his races.
well said. being a mum is an important job. if you do a good job, you raise children that will be future taxpayers.
bib has a point. Both my sister and brother didn't get half the benefits I did growing up. Most of my older cousins lived in poverty as well. But who cares they are all ****s.
I used the word survive nowhere near the context you based your post on Bib. I'm fine moneywise. I don't claim for anyone either.
20 years ago, £25,000 to £30,000 a year wasn't a not bad salary? Fair enough then. How did your parents manage to buy a house in a "posh(ish)" area then?
basically what im saying is, im sick of these people who deliberately muck about in their 20s saying they cant afford kids, wasting their money on ****e and then they act like they dont know why they couldnt "afford" children earlier. or people who say they want the best for their kids (basically they want to spoil them). not saying i didnt get nice things, i did, but that was mainly after my nan died and my dad inherited the house and we had money to spare. i really enjoyed my childhood, im not sure extra toys/games consoles and expensive clothes would have made me any happier. i fully intent to have children soon and so im living like a pauper to save up money to buy my own house so i can do that. im making sacrifices to do what i want.
thats when i was like 10 or so. my dads basic pay was about £20k i think but he used to do a crazy amount of over time to bulk it up if we didnt have enough money coming in to pay the bills. they said they literally spent every penny they had on the mortgage.
