That's why I always use the Database Editor to change United before I start playing.
Step 1: Change their home kit to pink.
Step 2: Change their nickname to "Manure" and "The Scum"
Step 3: Change Old Trafford to have a capacity of "5" in attendance.
Step 4: Wipe out all their sponsors and set their bank balance to £0
Step 5: Put them in massive debt
Once you've done that you're ready to play. They still do pretty well for a few years (for some reason won't sell everyone off even in massive debt). It makes the game more realistic though!
I always add in new injuries such as "errection" and "bad gas" just for the humourous e-mails it generates. Gerrard is out for 4 weeks with an errection after a collision with Lucas in training. The physio recommends sending Joe Allen home when he has bad gas before it spreads to other players!
Yes I'm very juvenile!
Another fun thing is giving players nicknames like "Your Mum", "The Referee" and "My Penis" - trust me, it makes the in match commentary more interesting.