OT Alternative Commentary SUPERBOWL FINAL(...I think it's the final)

After a disturbing few minutes where I thought American racial politics had hit an all-time low (all about you tonight DT ), I find out they've been referring to a player called FFFFlacco.... or Flacko, or Flaccid, or some such...

Commentary sigh of relief... PHEW... San Francisco look good at the moment... But then they've dropped it! I always thought this was a piss-poor interpretation of Rugby Union, but it turns out the 49-ers are pretty much bang on a perfect Scotland performance right now. And now we have many replays of #91's ass... Tight package sir, well done... Still the ass coverage... Awful concerned with it for a nation I always assumed to be homophobic!

 

Apparent dirty play by SF, grabbing a guy by his "face mask"... Like it's some form of supermarket eucalyptus and chocolcate peel to enrich the skin and release those pores and relieve those slight imperfections... I do like to dabble, in case you're curious...

Flaccid has sent through an absolute bullet pass to the end zone... Flaccid by name, stonking erection by performance so far...

 

And now we're apparently listening to an Olympic rower... Who appears to be British...

FIGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!

And now the many many refs are conferring to see if they have any clue who started it I presume... They have flags and refs, do they have red and yellow cards?

Apparently not... BOOOOOOOOO... The ref has just given them a telling off... for "unnecessary roughness" Sounds like a Shakespearean objection!

 

I like how the infractions cancelled each other out. Maybe the FA can look at implementing a rule similar to this...

 

The RL (REF-League), who have presumably given up on cutting crime in the neighbouring areas in shiny unitards and Colowigs tonight to sort this **** out, have got the game back under way. The Ravens are winning (???) 14-3. Flaccid launches an aptly very weak pass to the sexy dreadednuaght #82, giving him no chance of a deserved touchdown

 

Hahaha I know... Chelsea fans can now officially piss off. Colo's tackle was unnecessary roughness, nothing more

 

I woke up this morning with unnecessary roughness - I blame it on the drink.
Don't tell the wife what I called her.........

 

That was some pass from Flaccid up to Kenwyne Jones

Edit: Black + Jones ≠ Kenwyne

 

HOLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYY SISSOKO WHAT A TOUCHDOWN by Coby Jones!

Flaccid launches a long pass, and Coby runs around two defenders to get in the end zone... Some superb moves there, which apparently don't translate to celebrations, because that's some hideous gyrating... I only want strippers, #82, sexy Michu, Seb Rajalakso, or maybe in rare instances my girlfriend doing that at me...

 

i once shaved my my pubes off whilst watching the 2007 superbowl. no lie

 

an hour and a half for 30 mins of "Football." Talk about Fergie time...

 

Well I'm glad unnecessary roughness has been put to bed and you've joined us

 

Well I'm glad unnecessary roughness has been put to bed and you've joined us

 

Did you think the Ravens would "get you" if you didn't? I could quite honestly believe that...




I've shaved off my hair and my eyebrows too just incase

 

I like the sound of this San Francisco "Randy Moss" - does it have some magical properties?

 

There's a joke in there somewhere about shaven ravens........or vice versa.....

Oh, here's Beyonce, that's close enough........

 

Surely this begs the questions what method Dr Shakamotoon was using to purge his forest?

This thing goes on for hoursssss.... I'm thinking he either plucked every single hair individually, or else, through a complex series of conversations with the Elite Order amongst the "crab villagers", managed to convince them to create a pube-mill and deforest the land to prevent Tesco or Burger King installing vast horse-farms...

Oh dear... Upon going back to my link I appear to have accidentally tuned into a drag-queen's concert...

EDIT: MY BAD... It's not a drag Queen...

Is the state where this is being shown liberal with the death penalty...? Calling Beyonce a man probably deserves lethal injection in all fairness, or at least a trip to the opticians.

 

There's three of them now... Well, definitely two, the third may be a pre-op transsexual.

 

This is all very nice and entertaining and all, but does it really have anything on a fat bloke trying to hit the cross-bar whilst simultaneously holding up his trousers, and ultimately slipping on his arse?

I mean there's just been a moment where Beyonce has just strayed a bit too close to the fanatics, and they've all started to stroke her knees... If anybody did that to Jesse Jay she's probably bite their fingers off and spit it at them.