What gets easier to pick up the heavier it becomes?
A woman
A woman
Off Topic Offensive jokes thread
- Thread starter Amin Arrears
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Two Ton Tessie...
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Parked near a night club in North Macedonia?
The views expressed in my posts are not necessarily mine.
Trump, in the afterlife, gets permission to go back and visit Earth for one hour.
He goes into a bar in NYC and asks the bartender how things are going for America.
The amazed man says, "Wow, sir, we have the most incredible empire thanks to you! Greenland, Panama, and Canada!"
"That's great," says Trump,
"What about Europe?"
"Oh yes," says the bartender, "They also couldn't resist us!"
"That's so beautiful," says Trump.
"Well, I have to go back now, how much do I owe you?"
"One ruble fifty..."
He goes into a bar in NYC and asks the bartender how things are going for America.
The amazed man says, "Wow, sir, we have the most incredible empire thanks to you! Greenland, Panama, and Canada!"
"That's great," says Trump,
"What about Europe?"
"Oh yes," says the bartender, "They also couldn't resist us!"
"That's so beautiful," says Trump.
"Well, I have to go back now, how much do I owe you?"
"One ruble fifty..."
If that's how cheap the beer will be bring it on.
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Lucy was having a lovely time shopping. In the first shop she visited, she found some perfect shoes and, in the second, a beautiful dress.
Her mobile rang. It was a female doctor telling her that her husband was in intensive care following a car accident. “Tell him where I am and that I’ll be with him as soon as possible,” said Lucy.
She turned to head for her car, but another bargain caught her eye. Before she knew it, she’d spend the rest of the afternoon in the shops.
When she arrived at the hospital, the doctor shouted, “You finished your shopping trip, didn’t you? Well, I hope you enjoyed it, because it may be your last. Your husband’s condition deteriorated while he waited for you and he’ll now require your 24-hour care for the rest of his life.”
Wracked by guilt, Lucy broke down in tears.
The lady doctor chuckled and said,”Only joking – he’s dead. Now, let’s see what you bought!”
Her mobile rang. It was a female doctor telling her that her husband was in intensive care following a car accident. “Tell him where I am and that I’ll be with him as soon as possible,” said Lucy.
She turned to head for her car, but another bargain caught her eye. Before she knew it, she’d spend the rest of the afternoon in the shops.
When she arrived at the hospital, the doctor shouted, “You finished your shopping trip, didn’t you? Well, I hope you enjoyed it, because it may be your last. Your husband’s condition deteriorated while he waited for you and he’ll now require your 24-hour care for the rest of his life.”
Wracked by guilt, Lucy broke down in tears.
The lady doctor chuckled and said,”Only joking – he’s dead. Now, let’s see what you bought!”
A boy and his dad were in a car and the boy asks his dad a question...
'Dad, how long until we get to church?' They drive past the church but dad just says, 'I'm not sure son, I'll let you know when I see it.' 'Ah, OK', says the boy.
He then asks another question. 'Dad, is there a toilet nearby, I need a wee?' They drive past the toilet but Dad replies, 'OK son, I'll let you know when I see it.'
They pull off the highway and dad turns the radio on to distract him but quickly turns it off again when he hears the presenter discussing politics. 'Dad, what is fascism?' Dad replies, 'I don't know how to describe it son, but I'll let you know when I see it.'
'Dad, how long until we get to church?' They drive past the church but dad just says, 'I'm not sure son, I'll let you know when I see it.' 'Ah, OK', says the boy.
He then asks another question. 'Dad, is there a toilet nearby, I need a wee?' They drive past the toilet but Dad replies, 'OK son, I'll let you know when I see it.'
They pull off the highway and dad turns the radio on to distract him but quickly turns it off again when he hears the presenter discussing politics. 'Dad, what is fascism?' Dad replies, 'I don't know how to describe it son, but I'll let you know when I see it.'
Expect a knock on the door, and a good grilling, for that post.
The views expressed in my posts are not necessarily mine.
Not on here, I posted about Don and had it deleted. Hey ho, no big deal.
The views expressed in my posts are not necessarily mine.
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