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Off Topic Offensive jokes thread

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by Matth_2014, Oct 4, 2018.

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  1. thefanwithnoname

    thefanwithnoname Well-Known Member

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    Matth you heard about the dyslexic bank robbers?

    They stormed into a bank and shouted

    Air in the hands mother stickers this is a **** up.




    Don't know why it came to me as I read the author of this threads name
     
    #21
    thefanwithnoname, Oct 4, 2018
    Spurlock and Number 1 Jasper like this.
  2. Willhoops

    Willhoops Well-Known Member

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    What’s the difference between a lorry full of bricks and a lorry full of babies?

    You can’t unload bricks with a pitch fork
     
    #22
    Willhoops, Oct 4, 2018
  3. Libby

    Libby Derby County, we're coming for you

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    Portsmouth FC.
     
    #23
    Libby, Oct 4, 2018
  4. Saintmagic

    Saintmagic Well-Known Member

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    Just watched an NSPCC advert that said "nobody comes when little Annie cries"

    I beg to differ
     
    #24
    Saintmagic, Oct 4, 2018
    Tel (they/them), Spurlock, BobbyD and 2 others like this.
  5. Matth_2014

    Matth_2014 Well-Known Member

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    What the f(u)ck.
     
    #25
    Matth_2014, Oct 4, 2018
  6. Matth_2014

    Matth_2014 Well-Known Member

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    I just wanted a laugh after the last couple of days I’ve hardly, I was scared of making this thread, In-case I got banned.
     
    #26
    Matth_2014, Oct 4, 2018

  7. Willhoops

    Willhoops Well-Known Member

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    Hope the dead baby jokes cheered you up, I mean what sort of person doesn't like a good dead baby joke.

    they must be sick in the head
     
    #27
    Willhoops, Oct 4, 2018
    Spurlock, BobbyD and Quesadaad like this.
  8. Matth_2014

    Matth_2014 Well-Known Member

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    I’m not into those kind of jokes to be honest.
     
    #28
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2018
    Matth_2014, Oct 4, 2018
  9. DerekTheMole

    DerekTheMole Well-Known Member

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    Matth what's the difference between a joke and a dick?

    You can't take a joke.
     
    #29
    DerekTheMole, Oct 4, 2018
    Munson owns Fosse, Milk not bear jizz, Deano's Volley and 5 others like this.
  10. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    I was going to post that :)
     
    #30
    Number 1 Jasper, Oct 4, 2018
    Willhoops likes this.
  11. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    I love them .

    They just have to be cooked perfectly .

    I find the soft spot in the head an ideal place to keep knives , spoons etc .
     
    #31
    Number 1 Jasper, Oct 4, 2018
    Milk not bear jizz, Spurlock, BobbyD and 3 others like this.
  12. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    Another ticket for one to hell ( I'm joining you ) .
     
    #32
    Number 1 Jasper, Oct 4, 2018
  13. Willhoops

    Willhoops Well-Known Member

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    Strange, so what is your favourite type of offensive joke?
     
    #33
    Willhoops, Oct 4, 2018
  14. Matth_2014

    Matth_2014 Well-Known Member

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    You’re a bloke pretending to be a mole, Who’s the joke now then.
     
    #34
    Matth_2014, Oct 4, 2018
  15. Willhoops

    Willhoops Well-Known Member

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    Still you, as you've just proved Derek's point!

    Don't take it so personal dude
     
    #35
    Willhoops, Oct 4, 2018
    BobbyD, DerekTheMole and Number 1 Jasper like this.
  16. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    YOU .
     
    #36
    Number 1 Jasper, Oct 4, 2018
  17. Willhoops

    Willhoops Well-Known Member

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    Jasper I'm in your head... must be the cat thing :emoticon-0148-yes:
     
    #37
    Willhoops, Oct 4, 2018
    Number 1 Jasper likes this.
  18. Matth_2014

    Matth_2014 Well-Known Member

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    I’m not.
     
    #38
    Matth_2014, Oct 4, 2018
  19. Matth_2014

    Matth_2014 Well-Known Member

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    Why is that.
     
    #39
    Matth_2014, Oct 4, 2018
  20. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    Of course you're not .
     
    #40
    Number 1 Jasper, Oct 4, 2018
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