Off Topic: Stupidest thing you've ever done?

I don't think there are many feelings worse than the initial panic when you misplace important things like that in a different country.

 

I did, er, 'something' to a dog that led to her biting me in the face when I was 14. Never again. I'll stick to human women.

 

Panic was the word!

It was only later that I thought about and realised that as I had my passport, ticket and money on me I woudn't have lost anything that I couldn't replace pretty easily. But just reacted and didn't think.

 

Your panic got you on that train

 

I once thought I'd lost my wallet on an SKM in Poland and I thought I was going to pass out, absolutely awful feeling.

 

Once thought I left a £20 note in me pocket and it went in the wash..It did, but it was perfectly in tackt and smelt far better.

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"In tackt"

 

That and what may well have been a new world record for running 400 metres along a railway track, in hiking boots and whilst being chased by or shouted at by angry port officials. Wish it had been caught on camera because it would have been a classic clip on one of those police camera action/idiots in our midst shows!

 

Oh god Don't ask -.-

 

It is an awful feeling. Bt then it is a major hastle trying to get cards and money and all that sorted out when that happens so it is a fair reaction. You are buggered until you get some cash back after all.

 

Far too many to remember but one that springs to mind-

On a night out in Hamburg (around 2003) -
It all started with far too many drinks. I somehow managed to lose everyone I was with and decided to try and get a train.( where too I had no idea)
After walking around aimlessly for what seemed like hours I stumbled across the train station and guess what? It was closed. That didnt stop me as I proceeded to climb on the roof and get to the platform anyway. Once on the platform disaster struck. I heard the sound of the Police roaring toward the station. I panicked and tried to run down the track in pure darkness. After a few hundred meters I decided that I was going to make my escape over a fence at the side of the tracks. Trouble was tho, it was a 7 ft fence (with the diamond type mesh pattern on) and I couldn't get my feet in the holes. In my drunken stupor I decided to throw away my shoes so that I could fit my feet more easily into the 'holes. I got to the top of the fence then made my jump not realizing my belt loop had managed to get caught. It proceeded to rip a huge hole where my back pocket should of been. After I freed myself , I made my way through the shrubs and out to Freedom (with no shoes and looking like a rape victim). As I walked out into view I was promptly thrown to the ground and arrested. It turned out I hadn't run as far as I thought. I was still in the 'Station' car park and the police had been watching my hopeless ''Escape to victory'' attempt.

 

I've got a couple.

Story 1: I once turned up at the wrong airport...in the wrong country! I was in Zambia and was supposed to be flying from Victoria Airport. Seen as though I was going to Vic falls everyday I didn't think too much about it. So off I went to the airport in Zambia. I was in good time so went for something to eat and then went to check in only to realise I'm in the wrong place. So off I go running out the airport. I pay one taxi to take me to the border. Another taxi to take me to the other border (why they aren't together is beyond me). I was then supposed to pay $50 for a visa to get into Zimbabwe but didn't have enough money so argued with them that it was a trip to Vic falls for 1 day (this is a free pass then).

I then only had $10 left and the taxi was supposed to be $30 so I bribed him with my sandwiches, drink, wallet and belt.

I got there panting, sweating hopeing that I'd made the flight, only to wait another hour in a queue to check in.

........................

Story 2:
After coming home from Newcastle on a night out once I really needed a number 2. I was at the top of my street and decided (in my drunken state) that I didn't want to do it at home as when I flushed the toilet it would wake up my parents, so I did it in the island of the main road at the top of my street. Once I got in I realised that I of course didn't wipe my arse, so I went in the shower which resulted in me waking my parents with **** stained boxers. The next morning I woke up with a massive hangover but needed to take the dog for a walk. The **** was gone, some passer by must have picked it up for me.

 

So someone stole your ****!!

Gives a whole new meaning to the expression "Turd Burglar"

 

I never thought of it that way, but yes, you are indeed correct, someone stole my ****!

 

Quite a few years ago when the Moore was here I desperatly needed a piss but had been waiting for a while to get on this ride, so I thought to myself I can wait. The ride was that one where everyone gets into a spinng cylinder which spins so fast you stick to the wall, then the floor of the ride drops so you can be like Spiderman without the gay suit.

Directly opposite me was this little chubby lass with a top that was maybe to tight for a girl of her size. Also she was terryfied. Now when this ride got spinning fast, her flab began to jiggle all over the place, add this to look of horror in her face and me being a little sadistic ginger **** I was laughing hard. After about of minute of this I realised that if this went on, I was going to piss myself infront of all my friends and be called "pissy pants" for years. I treid to stop laughing but the sight directly opposite was just to hillarious.

As the ride began to stop a little bit pee had slipped out and I was on the verge of ruining my favourite addidas trackies or blowing up my kidney's. Once the door opened I belted it to the nearest secluded place I could find and finally relieved myself of this potentionally organ destroying burden, unfortuantly I had picked a caravan. I had been told stories about evil gypsys and that so I was terryfied so tried to shuffle away while still peeing and inevitably got a bit on my pants anyway. However, through the ingenious of covering it up by holding a bag of sweets awkwardly I managed to cover it up long enough for the sun to dry it up.

I've did some stupid stuff on holiday; woken up in my pitch black bathroom thinking I was blind, told a fit Sweedish lass she was fat to try and impress her with my knowledge of foreign languages ("Du aire feit" is the only Sweedish I know) making her quite angry and break some of a boat while on a booze cruise trying to play some stupid game in some choppy waters.

 

! Both great stories

 

I once made the mistake of reading a HMT article that wasnt funny. My head still isnt right

 

I have medication for it. But the medication doesn't cover stupid comments he posts (for example the one on this article )

 

I don't know where to start.

Despite trying to live my life in a monastic fashion; it's evident that I've utterly failed and also evident that all my stupidity emanates from alcohol.

• Bet to eat a cigarette; whilst drunk, and I did. Puked all over the person who made the bet.
• Bet to strip off naked; whilst drunk, and I did in front of 900 people; including my girlfriends mother and father. Relationship went downhill fast after that.
• Whilst drunk I managed to set my hair on fire and became a human torch in a night club. It lay have been a drunken bet, I can't recall as I was certainly drunk.
• WOW! A NOT drunk one: Asked a policeman if his chips were hot when I was asked to blow into the bag. Pissed off policeman took me to the cells for the night.
• Stood right next to my burning car on the side of the road and had a cigarette. The fire fighters mentioned I'd best stand away from it.
• Recalled that I'd never be allowed to take the booze in my hand luggage onto the flight after going through security check in Bratislava. Slipped out the secure area without notifying anyone and went back to check in; put the bottles back into the hold luggage and when I got back to the security check in they had a gun against my head as I'd already passed through...

Just noticed that I can't seem to turn down a bet either