A couple of weeks ago I was invited round to my (female) friend's house for a drink and bite to eat. It was a Tuesday, just after work. I was driving back from Liverpool, where I work towards Manchester along the M56 with Altrincham being my destination. The motorway however completely jammed up well before my junction. Manchester ****ing United fans all glory-seeking their way to the Champions League match, (against Shaktar Donetsk I think). I was seething with the congestion, screaming at them to go and support FC United like any true Manchester United fan would!! "Get out the ****ing way you plastic, glory supporting sheep! Leave the roads free for those of us who just want to commute!!" I was so irrationally angry. Still, I tried to calm myself by listening to Simon Mayo thinking this will only be a few more minutes, then I can relax in the company of my bestest ever friend with a glass of wine or so. Eventually after taking about half an hour to travel about a mile I reached my destination. But my friend's house was dark, no lights on and her car nowhere to be seen. Thinking she might have been caught up in the Man Utd sheeple traffic too and maybe a little late home from work I decided to wait. And then I waited......and waited. Eventually I phoned her - no answer. Texted her, no immediate response and I was genuinely getting concerned as this was very out of character. But I couldn't wait around forever so set off back home. But finally I got the text response 'Oh **** I was supposed to be meeting you wasn't I? I got an offer of a box seat at Old Trafford tonight and completely forgot. Sorry mate'. If I hated Man United before this, then now my hatred is complete Black Mamba venom!! I have never cheered for a Ukrainian side as much as I did that night! (It was all a one-off incident thankfully, no long term harm done - she remains a great friend but my enhanced hatred of Man Utd is permanent).
Erm, a couple of DVDs of the lowest budget horror films ever, and a Hot Chilli Sauce book! Very Innocuous you see!
I suppose it's a woman thing Dids. It's not their fault i suppose....... What don't they understand. If my better half ever gives me a white ****e dvd......
If my better half ever gives me a white ****e dvd...... I'll stick her head through the hole. A blue faced Sir Walter Raleigh.
I actually sacrificed going to the match yesterday to invite her round for a belated Christmas dinner. So all I could do was have the score updates on-screen. I didn't listen to a thing she said between 4 and 5pm - all I did was point wide-eyed, speechless at the screen, my jaw dropping lower and lower as the Hull City x - 0 Fulham counter ticked up and up. It was only the 2nd game I've missed this season, and don't get me wrong I had a really really great day. But of all the games to miss...........
I imagine your relationship to be like 80s sitcom, Just Good Friends. That Paul Nicholas was a smoothy.
My thoughts exactly. And if he doesnt dish some dirt my mind is going to start thinking Will and Grace!! You dont want that Dids you really dont.
Fair enough. I recommend West African Voodoo Juice, (as I have done before), Rectum Ripper and Naga Soreass. This chilli sauce book does not lie!!
I was thinking the same but I'm too polite to ask. If you got nowt then she's playing you for a fool.
I'd also considered that scenario. But wouldn't hot chilli sauce be a bit of a faux pas in that community? I just don't know what to read between the lines on this one.
Fair play Galante Junior, he got me the Alan Partridge movie and The Professionals on DVD. Good taste I'd say.
