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Off Topic NSFW. Advice about women...

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Heavy Metal Toon, Mar 6, 2011.

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  1. NUFCtomw362

    NUFCtomw362 Active Member

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    You could talk about your work... e.g hello there, I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore uranus etc
     
    #161
    NUFCtomw362, Mar 6, 2011
  2. Paco Montoya

    Paco Montoya Well-Known Member

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    Me: Wanna have sex with me?
    Her: No way
    Me: Don't think you heard me correctly, what did I say?
    Her: Wanna have sex with me?

    Me: And that your honour is why it wasn't rape.

    Foolproof.
     
    #162
    Paco Montoya, Mar 6, 2011
  3. beardface

    beardface Active Member

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    Shes 6"3, she might be too broad for him to reach her shoulder and end up slapping her in the back of the neck.
     
    #163
    beardface, Mar 6, 2011
  4. KingoStarr

    KingoStarr Active Member

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    Think I'll change because yeh ill change and be supportive again


    GO TASH
     
    #164
    KingoStarr, Mar 6, 2011
  5. Geordie Gashead

    Geordie Gashead Active Member

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    Make sure it's not a pitbull though. Those bastards have some ****ing grip, I can assure you. She ended up suing me.
     
    #165
    Geordie Gashead, Mar 6, 2011
  6. TheLittleGeordie

    TheLittleGeordie Active Member

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    give her a quick compilment and them slip a line in there where she doesn't notice
    eg. "nice shoes, wanna have sex
     
    #166
    TheLittleGeordie, Mar 6, 2011
  7. SirBR

    SirBR Active Member

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    Try the more forth right and up front approach e.g sid the sexist

    Here pet do ya fancy a ****????


    Who can't resist the old geordie charm ;)
    Everyones a winner
     
    #167
    SirBR, Mar 6, 2011
  8. Gutierrez's Right Boot

    Gutierrez's Right Boot Well-Known Member

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    Tash you going to take any of this great advice your getting
     
    #168
    Gutierrez's Right Boot, Mar 6, 2011
  9. beardface

    beardface Active Member

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    A better way to go with this one is to get your friend to steal her bag when you are with her, then you could pursue the 'thief'.
     
    #169
    beardface, Mar 6, 2011
  10. u408379965

    u408379965 Well-Known Member

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    170 comments in 80 mins. Good effort.
     
    #170
    u408379965, Mar 6, 2011

  11. steviemac14

    steviemac14 Active Member

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    Genius, consider yourself repped sir!
     
    #171
    steviemac14, Mar 6, 2011
  12. Hatem Is A Geordie

    Hatem Is A Geordie Active Member

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    Some of these are ****ing classic <laugh>
     
    #172
    Hatem Is A Geordie, Mar 6, 2011
  13. Cal.

    Cal. Active Member

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    Tell her about the time you fought off a Jihad by yourself, girls love a hero.
     
    #173
    Cal., Mar 6, 2011
  14. TheLittleGeordie

    TheLittleGeordie Active Member

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    A similar but better idea would be to get a friend to shoot her and then you perform CPR on her
    Saving her lifes much more heroic than rescuing her handbag
     
    #174
    TheLittleGeordie, Mar 6, 2011
  15. NUFCtomw362

    NUFCtomw362 Active Member

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    Or walk past her muttering "hohoho green giant"
     
    #175
    NUFCtomw362, Mar 6, 2011
  16. John Smith

    John Smith Active Member

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    tag - Giraffe! <laugh>

    Tall women never seem so big when you're on top of them or doing 'em up the ****ter.

    Try that to help her self-esteem.
     
    #176
    John Smith, Mar 6, 2011
  17. Hatem Is A Geordie

    Hatem Is A Geordie Active Member

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    I'm almost crying at that one <laugh>
     
    #177
    Hatem Is A Geordie, Mar 6, 2011
  18. Geordie Gashead

    Geordie Gashead Active Member

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    How do you usually plead for rape?


    I find getting down on 2 knees and offering a pack of Maoam Stripes works well.
     
    #178
    Geordie Gashead, Mar 6, 2011
  19. Son of a pitch

    Son of a pitch Active Member

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    ;)
     
    #179
    Son of a pitch, Mar 6, 2011
  20. Jesus Was A Geordie

    Jesus Was A Geordie Well-Known Member

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    Here Tash, why don't you drink? Drink is actually THE greatest social lubricant and way to pull!
     
    #180
    Jesus Was A Geordie, Mar 6, 2011
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