1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic NSFW. Advice about women...

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Heavy Metal Toon, Mar 6, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Page 24 of 42
  1. I Bleed Black & White

    I Bleed Black & White Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    646
    Likes Received:
    0
    Just tell her to date a midget, then she can get her gash licked while standing up...:emoticon-0115-inlov
     
    #461
    I Bleed Black & White, Mar 8, 2011
  2. Tiggyrimana

    Tiggyrimana Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    4,782
    Likes Received:
    3
    just skim read through these pages
    absoloute quality lads <ok>
     
    #462
    Tiggyrimana, Mar 8, 2011
  3. u408379965

    u408379965 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    9,988
    Likes Received:
    306
    Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    I have got Aids,
    And now so have you.
     
    #463
    u408379965, Mar 8, 2011
  4. AH

    AH Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    11,239
    Likes Received:
    20
    Roses are red,
    prickly and thorny
    now get in my bed
    cuz i'm feeling horny
     
    #464
    AH, Mar 8, 2011
  5. u408379965

    u408379965 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    9,988
    Likes Received:
    306
    I wonder if she's still chuckling. <whistle>
     
    #465
    u408379965, Mar 8, 2011
  6. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2011
    Messages:
    47,442
    Likes Received:
    3,237
    Probably reading it all with interest hoping to pick up something.
     
    #466
    Agent Bruce, Mar 8, 2011
  7. u408379965

    u408379965 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    9,988
    Likes Received:
    306
    Probably a canister of CS gas.
     
    #467
    u408379965, Mar 8, 2011
  8. AH

    AH Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    11,239
    Likes Received:
    20
    Judging by AG's last poem, that thing she'll be picking up would probably be aids...
     
    #468
    AH, Mar 8, 2011
  9. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2011
    Messages:
    47,442
    Likes Received:
    3,237
    Could be right there too. <laugh> Or a rolling pin!
     
    #469
    Agent Bruce, Mar 8, 2011
  10. Dr. Lucien Sanchez

    Dr. Lucien Sanchez Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    797
    Likes Received:
    1
    I've always found "C'mon love, let's not let this rape turn into a murder" works pretty effectively.
     
    #470
    Dr. Lucien Sanchez, Mar 8, 2011

  11. overseasTOON

    overseasTOON Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    9,326
    Likes Received:
    19
    "By Christ you sweat more than that $2 dollar hooker at lunch time doing a 2 for 1 offer" is a great way to break the ice when you meet her mother.
     
    #471
    overseasTOON, Mar 8, 2011
  12. simonbh7

    simonbh7 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    1,549
    Likes Received:
    10
    Seriously Tash, suggest to her that you come over to her place with a take-away and a DVD. Make sure the DVD is "When Harry Met Sally"

    ALL WOMEN LOVE THIS FILM!!!!

    It is the classic "chick flick" and the storyline will leave her with a warm cosy feeling of "Happy ever after" and thus providing a relaxed and gentle environment for you to express your true feelings.


    It mirrors your relationship with her and you can have a deep and meaningful discussion about whether men and women can really be just friends or does there have to be some sexual attaction involved . Here is the ideal opportunity to tell her how you feel about her.

    Hopefully she will have similar feelings for you as you have for her, and you will be able to give the lanky bitch one in the poop shoot without having to resort to your newly aquired rapist skills.
     
    #472
    simonbh7, Mar 8, 2011
  13. u408379965

    u408379965 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    9,988
    Likes Received:
    306
    ...or Ted Bundy. <ok>
     
    #473
    u408379965, Mar 8, 2011
  14. u408379965

    u408379965 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    9,988
    Likes Received:
    306
    please log in to view this image
     
    #474
    u408379965, Mar 8, 2011
  15. simonbh7

    simonbh7 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    1,549
    Likes Received:
    10
    Quality...............have some rep.
     
    #475
    simonbh7, Mar 8, 2011
  16. Tiggyrimana

    Tiggyrimana Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    4,782
    Likes Received:
    3
    haha brilliant <laugh>
     
    #476
    Tiggyrimana, Mar 8, 2011
  17. Tiggyrimana

    Tiggyrimana Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    4,782
    Likes Received:
    3
    on a side note has anyone attempted the infamous donkey punch?
     
    #477
    Tiggyrimana, Mar 8, 2011
  18. overseasTOON

    overseasTOON Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    9,326
    Likes Received:
    19
    I'm strictly missionary.
     
    #478
    overseasTOON, Mar 8, 2011
  19. Tiggyrimana

    Tiggyrimana Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2011
    Messages:
    4,782
    Likes Received:
    3
    safe, simple and guarenteed success <ok>
     
    #479
    Tiggyrimana, Mar 8, 2011
  20. milner_for_england

    milner_for_england Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2011
    Messages:
    360
    Likes Received:
    9
    Donkey Punch combined with Pink Sock.
     
    #480
    milner_for_england, Mar 8, 2011
Page 24 of 42
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page