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Off Topic My videos - ( NSFW )

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by Matth_2014, Sep 20, 2016.

  1. Matth_2014

    Matth_2014 Well-Known Member

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  2. FosseFilberto

    FosseFilberto Pizzeria Superiore and some ...
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    ... have requested <ok>
     
    #22
    Skylarker likes this.
  3. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    @Matth_2014 I really think you should edit the OP. Do you know how?

    Before the first video put not safe for work.

    We wouldn't want @Hoddle Is A God watching it during a business conference call, by mistake.
     
    #23
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  4. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    "Nolito the ****ing nonce"

    <rofl>

    Brilliant.
     
    #24
  5. FosseFilberto

    FosseFilberto Pizzeria Superiore and some ...
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    ... too true ... some of the sheep on Bodmin might be quite offended <laugh>
     
    #25
  6. Matth_2014

    Matth_2014 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks. I'm getting a lot of views on my videos recently, and before you ask, no, I don't get paid to do my videos. I do them for free.
     
    #26
    Skylarker likes this.
  7. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    But Matth, the more views you get the more chance you'll have of someone approaching you to advertise before your work.

    Surely Nivea or someone must be close to offering a bumper deal? What's your average viewing numbers?
     
    #27
  8. Matth_2014

    Matth_2014 Well-Known Member

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    Depends.
     
    #28
  9. PleaseNotPoll

    PleaseNotPoll Well-Known Member
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    2,682 subscribers• 365,109 views.
     
    #29
    Skylarker likes this.
  10. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    Matth you still haven't edited the OP. Go to the first post (Watford video) and click EDIT - Then before the video link put NSFW in big letters. It's fairly easy <ok>
     
    #30

  11. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    Holy **** <laugh>

    Good job Matth.


    I think he had about 90k twitter followers at one point too. Before he blocked me <grr>
     
    #31
  12. Funny, but true story, here, Sky.

    In the early days of the internet, I attended a conference provided by one of the (then) major players in the legal search-engine field. The demonstrator, eager to show us how discerningly accurate and to-point his company's system was, he asked for someone in the audience to volunteer a case that they were working on, to demonstrate how effectively the software would pool together all the relevant materials.

    Now, you have to remember that there were approximately 120 delegates gathered in a small hall, with a stage out front, and a very large screen linked to the computer at which the demonstrator was sitting.

    A volunteer was found, who took the mike, and he told us delegates that he was working on a case that involved the destruction of a local river habitat by the illegal introduction, into that locale, of wild Canadian beaver. Could the new system help out?

    "Let's see what we can find," said the demonstrator, apparently unaware of the very dangerous waters that he was about to set sail in.

    So, he typed the words WILD CANADIAN BEAVER - I kid you not - into the software's search-bar, and merrily pressed ENTER. We all saw him do it, on the big-ass screen. Naturally, he got something like 3 million hits.

    "Wow! This looks promising!" enthused the demonstrator. I can imagine only that he was a Christian, or something like that, who had lived a very sheltered life. "Let's try the top one..."

    The top entry was entitled something along the lines of "nasty hot Canadian beaver." The poor, naïve bastard clicked on it, and we all waited for the first page to load (this was the early days of dial-up). Some of us in the audience were already beginning to feel the embarrassment.

    Well, **** me! What appeared on that 6 foot screen was filth of a nature that I had barely seen outside of my own bedroom! It would have embarrassed a mid-wife!

    To give him his due, though, the demonstrator went only a mild shade of red, and readily quipped "I'm not sure that that's going to be of much help to you!"
     
    #32
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  13. The Prime Minister

    The Prime Minister Well-Known Member

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    Is Matth a typical Newton Heath fan or just a one off?
     
    #33
  14. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    Brilliant!

    I took a phone off a desk at Uni that belonged to a biology lecturer and took a photo of my cock, then saved it as her wallpaper picture <laugh>

    Tbf - I wasn't the stereotypical 'Uni student' and I was pilled up on Diazepam/Valium at the time!
     
    #34
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2016
  15. Zanjinho

    Zanjinho Boom!
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    Or in public? Or even at home <ok>
     
    #35
  16. Matth_2014

    Matth_2014 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks.
     
    #36
  17. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    True <laugh>

    My Mrs (nm) the other night...

    "What is that utter **** you're listening to?"
     
    #37
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  18. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    You edited the title yet mate?
     
    #38
  19. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    Good job.

    I would have put it above the video, but that's me just being a bit OCD.
     
    #39
  20. Matth_2014

    Matth_2014 Well-Known Member

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    No.
     
    #40
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  21. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    <laugh>

    Oh yes you have!

    Good Bantz lad.
     
    #40

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