Tried to smash next doors green house by throwing a metal pole towards it, it hit our washing line and came back and broke my nose.
When in my early 20s I was barred from the club for doing a helicopter on the landing to the lads on the bandit. Was hauled in front of the committee one Sunday morning to plead my case and was met with CCTV evidence and the entire committee and officials had turned up for my hearing.
I might of told this story before but you reminded me. Me dad had the nickname of Ozz down here due to his thick north east accent and lack of social skills etc A lad I worked with who knew me dad told me he and his mrs had her parents etc round for Christmas dinner. Me dad had been to the Navy club and walking home and about halfway, he got caught short desperate for a shìt. Me dad knocked at this lads house and asked to use his toilet. A two up two down terrace with a downstairs toilet me dad said hello to the household and proceeded to empty his guts in the bog feet away from them . The lad said the farting and rasping noises led to everyone's unease around the table. Then the door burst open followed by me dads signature horrendous shìt stench. With a "cheers pal. Merry Christmas all" me dad was on his merry way and the food went in the bin
about 20 years ago my dad got the t v bloke in to fix it, he flicked the switch on the plug socket and said there you go ! he also said to my mother once after she remarked " ooh this tea is hot" he turned round and said "did you not taste it first" !, when the dark nights came in he said "it's getting late early"
