Off Topic Mental Health Discussion Thread

There is a difference between talking about issues and advice.

The advice really starts and stops at "Seek professional help".

The talking helps, it is a conduit to finding some sort of balance, maybe not a solution, but a help.

If you want to have a chat, PM me.

 

There's a list on the first post that I've copied below, and also some other links throughout the thread that may help.

I'm sure people will be able to point at something more relevant if there was a specific issue that you would like to know more about.

I like to think that this thread has helped quite a few people, and has been very respectful to people that have found what it takes to talk more openly about their concerns, but I also believe people respect other peoples right to privacy, and to deal with things their own way.

One thing this thread certainly shows is that people don't have to struggle alone, and plenty of people really care about others.

If you need help:

Samaritans (116 123)samaritans.org operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you’re feeling, or if you’re worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at [email protected] , write to Freepost RSRB-KKBY-CYJK, PO Box 9090, STIRLING, FK8 2SA and visit www.samaritans.org/branches to find your nearest branch.

CALM (0800 58 58 58) thecalmzone.nethas a helpline is for men who are down or have hit a wall for any reason, who need to talk or find information and support. They're open 5pm to midnight, 365 days a year.

Andy’s Man Club
https://m.facebook.com/Hullandysmanclub/

Childline (0800 1111 ) runs a helpline for children and young people in the UK. Calls are free and the number won’t show up on your phone bill.

PAPYRUS (0800 068 41 41) is a voluntary organisation supporting teenagers and young adults who are feeling suicidal.

Depression Alliance is a charity for people with depression. It doesn’t have a helpline, but offers a wide range of useful resources and links to other relevant information depressionalliance.org

Students Against Depression is a website for students who are depressed, have a low mood or are having suicidal thoughts. Bullying UK is a website for both children and adults affected by bullying studentsagainstdepression.org

Accessing Adult and Older People's Mental Health Services
(24 hours per day/7 days per week/365 days per year)

Please call 01482 301701 then please listen to the options and choose the appropriate one

https://www.humber.nhs.uk/about-our-trust/contact-us.htm

https://www.humber.nhs.uk/services/...-mental-health-crisis-or-urgent-care-need.htm

One for squaddies / ex squaddies

https://sappersupport.com/#

http://www.hull.gov.uk/benefits-sup...e/support-armed-forces-personnel-and-veterans

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/

https://www.giveusashout.org/

 

The Humber number is now 0800 1380990

 

I for one am proud of this thread. It's so so important.

Stick together ❤

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/stories-59162715
Mental health: Unqualified therapists exploiting vulnerable patients

 

I think talking about things with ppl, even those (in my case) thousands of miles away can help. I lost my wife to cancer on 31 March, there are times one just wants to bite the bullet and say fk it all however I still have fabulous daughters who assist me (as I still work stupid hours). My message I suppose is stay stong and TALK if something is bothering you, do not bottle it up until you explode

 

You will know if you have read this thread that I am walking in your shoes. Our journey is a very long one compared to some.
I do not know how I will cope. I hardly dare think about it.
Thank you for sharing.

 

Mr Tom, take my advice and treasure every minute (not that I doubt you are doing that now) that you have with your wife. I didnt think I would cope when my wife finally left us however believe me it was the best thing for her, she could not eat, drink, talk due to her throat closing, it was horrible to watch day in day out. Please make sure all preparations have been made (I hate sounding morbid) however it is one less burden to deal with. Feel free to PM me if you feel the need to talk in private.

 

We have a very long way to go and your words of advice are gratefully received.
My wife will never beat her cancer, but treatment buys us time and we spend more of it together now than ever.
Thank you again.

 

TOM going by your comments they found a source of said disease in your wife, sadly was not the case in mine, 2 ppl I know (my bro in law and another) were discarded to the "scrap heap" 2 years ago, they are still going stong, mate you may still have years yet, be positive, all the best to you and yours. My real name is Stu so please tell your wife that Stu can understand what is happening and I hope and pray she is doing the best she can at this stage.

 

Thanks Stu. We went into full lockdown just as my wife started treatment and this thread provided a means to express my thoughts.
We are fortunate to have time and understanding.

 

I would appreciate some guidance. Yesterday I was trawling through my phone numbers and came across an old friend who I used to work with and play golf. Being overseas as I am now, the last time I saw him was 6 years ago. I gave him a call to see how he was, and he said not good he has had depression for 5 years and had stopped even leaving the house. I have to say not having experienced this situation before, I was at a loss what to say.

The question is should I keep giving him a call, or is it a waste of time, as yesterday he seemed reluctant to even have a general conversation? I want to help him if I can, but don't want to make matters worse?

 

Definitely keep calling him mate

and let him know you are going to

won’t get rid of you that easy etc

is there any other old mates who could call round and see him?

 

Message saying you know where you can contact me if you need to.

Sometimes people need a lot of time to process things rather than a phone call which is something you need to respond to immediately.

Any of his family you could contact as well?

 

Thanks, Ernie, he has a wife, but I suspect this all stems from his first marriage. His first wife was a head case, I knew her and she was an absolute nutter. They had a son, who she systematically poisoned his mind against his father, who, certainly up to 6 years ago had not been in contact with him from the time they divorced. I suspect this is the root cause of his problem. Obviously, I don't want to bring that up, as it may or may not be the reason, so I am sure you can understand why it is difficult to converse with him.

 

Thank's for reply Chazz, I am sure he will have a few old golfing friends, but I am not sure if they are in contact. But thanks for the advice, I'll certainly call him again after a few days, and see how he is doing.

 

The key thing would be to try and gently point him towards professional help. It sounds like he is aware that he has an issue, which is a start, but you'll probably need to do it tactfully.

Can you try to spark up his interest by sending him golfing mags or pointing him at web articles that could give him something to think and talk about? Maybe mention a few of the joint friends you have and the good times you had to remind him of happier days, and chat about what they're up to now, and perhaps hinting a future get together could be fun.

 

There’s a balance to be made between supporting your mate and trying to fix him. Only he can can get himself better.

I agree with Ernie that sometimes people process messages better than phone calls. Ask him what helps? Anyway, I’m sure just being a friend and being there for him will be appreciated.

 

does he have agoraphobia to your knowledge? if so it may explain some issues??

 

Defo messages rather than calls.