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Off Topic Mental Health Discussion Thread

Discussion in 'Hull City' started by Steven Toast, Oct 21, 2018.

  1. Kempton

    Kempton Well-Known Member

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    So anyway, I think I'm losing it.

    I think our place, I mean my workplace might close altogether soon.

    We just don't have the orders. I'm 56 and I do a specialised job that no other firm in this country will be interested in.

    I don't know what to say here really. It's just a rant. Sorry.
     
    #481
  2. askewshair

    askewshair Well-Known Member

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    That sounds ****,
     
    #482
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2020
  3. mustyfrog

    mustyfrog Well-Known Member

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    on a jovial note - no prediction leagues this season on the Hull site, on a serious not, my wife recently diagnosed with terminal cancer, I work and cannot afford to take time off, luckily my daughters fill my gap to a degree however I am more and more feeling depressed however cannot show the wife this for obvious reasons. Any thoughts?
     
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  4. Chazz Rheinhold

    Chazz Rheinhold Well-Known Member

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    Keep on keeping on mate. It’s tough I know. But at the end of the day it’s only a job. Family is more important. Don’t know how you’re fixed financially? It won’t be as bad as you think if it happens.
    You’ll easy get another job with the qualities you have.
     
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  5. tigerscanada

    tigerscanada Well-Known Member

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    So sorry to hear that mf.

    I have not experienced such a situation myself (other than parents), but the good thing is you have a family - your daughters, and as a team you'll naturally support each other, which I'm sure your wife will want to see and will recognize.

    On the work front, you may be pleasantly surprised. In most situations bosses will be very supportive of helping you in your current situation. They may relax the rules slightly to allow more flexibility in working hours to allow you to co-ordinate your schedules with your daughters and your time to be at home. It's always worth trying to explain your situation with your immediate boss to explore possibilities to shift your working hours without losing any income. They are human beings too - and will want to show their compassionate side to others in the organisation.

    Talk to your close friends - that's what they are there for. Stay strong.
     
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  6. The Omega Man

    The Omega Man Well-Known Member

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    We are going through a similar mill, in our case my wife may have years to live, the cancer will kill her, the treatment is to extend her life and not cure her.
    My only words of advice are to talk, don’t hide your emotions, tell everyone and most of all have that awful conversation. Not just once, several times. My wife breaks down every so often.
    If this upsets you, sorry, but you need to be told.
    You have to sort out this depression - NOW
    Get medical help.
    Tell the people at work that you are struggling.
    Talk to your wife, talk about death.
    Tell her that she will not be alone or in pain.
    Post on here about your emotions, it helps build a foothold in telling others.

    We do not use the charities, but they are there to help.
     
    #486
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  7. The Omega Man

    The Omega Man Well-Known Member

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    I have and have had this conversation many many times. I have to sit down with redundant workers very often. The business owners are generally the worse as they literally believe that they are unemployable.

    Let me start by saying that you can PM me and I will talk directly to you, your bosses or anyone.

    Redundancy should not be feared. It has to be embraced.
    If your company cannot afford to pay your redundancy, there are government schemes that will pay you if you are entitled.
    Career changes are good for you 75% of the time. You will be seen as a valuable employee if you have stayed at the same job for many years. Combine this with some retraining and you may be surprised at how many companies want you to work for them.

    Some industries die, some evolve and some will shake themselves down and carry on doing not quite the same, just a bit different.

    Be positive and never get desperate. Enjoy the challenge and don’t fear it.
     
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  8. Kempton

    Kempton Well-Known Member

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    Tom mate, you are absolutely amazing to even consider my plight after all you and your wife are going through. My worries are as nothing compared to yours, yet you find the time to reply to my whingeing.

    That is mind blowing to me, to the point where I simply don't know what to say here.

    These must be your darkest days and you offer me comfort.

    I don't know, I'm just gobsmacked by that and maybe that's exactly what I need, a good smack in the mouth.

    From here on in, I'll just pull myself together and crack on.

    Thank you Tom x
     
    #488
  9. Chazz Rheinhold

    Chazz Rheinhold Well-Known Member

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    And what about my advice eh
    Honestly some people
    Im closer than Tom to give you that smack in the mouth
    I’ll come round on a daily basis if it helps
    <laugh>
     
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  10. Kempton

    Kempton Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Chazz. I knew I could rely on you <laugh>
     
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  11. Qatartiger Cambridgetiger

    Qatartiger Cambridgetiger Well-Known Member

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    All I can say is what an amazing thread this is with amazing people.

    I do hope my post is taken in the way it's meant.

    Love and best wishes too you all.

    Kemp's although I am not a bus driver now when I was looking for a career change I trained to be a bus driver and passed they are a great bunch of lass and lasses. It can be done. Crap pay mind. Plus they are advertising now.
     
    #491
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  12. Kempton

    Kempton Well-Known Member

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    I can't even drive <laugh>
     
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  13. Ernie Shackleton

    Ernie Shackleton Well-Known Member

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    That's never been a recruitment barrier for East Yorkshire Buses.
     
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  14. Chazz Rheinhold

    Chazz Rheinhold Well-Known Member

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    I asked for some advice from some **** on here by pm
    Gave me some good advice but then took the piss out of me which probably helped me more <laugh>
     
    #494
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  15. Kempton

    Kempton Well-Known Member

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    It often works like that <laugh>
     
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  16. Ron Burguvdy

    Ron Burguvdy Well-Known Member

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    Probably about fish and chips...
     
    #496
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  17. dennisboothstash

    dennisboothstash Well-Known Member

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    Really sorry to hear this Musty.
    I hope everything goes as well as it can do under the circumstances.
    The link below is, I think, an interesting read, although it stresses often that everyone’s situations and relationships are different.
    I know others have said it, but talking is vital, and if that ‘talking’ is on here and that helps you even a little then do it.
    I wouldn’t assume that you necessarily have to keep your worries from your wife, but again there’s some useful words about that in the link.
    Look after yourself anyway. You’ll no doubt be focussed on her, and that’s understandable, but you need to be healthy now more than ever so look for support if you can. Macmillan supports spouses as well a patients and they might be a good start
    Take care

    http://med.stanford.edu/survivingcancer/cancer-and-stress/when-your-spouse-has-cancer.html
     
    #497
  18. dennisboothstash

    dennisboothstash Well-Known Member

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    Others gave said it far better than me, but if you do think your jobs going then try not to worry too much.
    Firstly there’s no point as you can’t influence whether you do lose it or not, so better to prepare for it, even dusting off a CV and keeping an eye out for other jobs (not that I use it much but LinkedIn is a really useful means of getting your skills out there and making contacts, many companies use it and although it’s about a quarter the number of people compared to Facebook it’s far more ‘businesslike’ and I know a few people who’ve picked up work through it.)
    Secondly while your skills might be ‘specialist’ (actually ...maybe there other completely different websites you can use for work...;) ) you might be surprised what skills are transferable to other roles and what value workers are who are loyal and experienced.
    Anyway good luck mate
     
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  19. mustyfrog

    mustyfrog Well-Known Member

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    Kempton, I am 61, I started my new job 3 yrs ago with help from the "old boys network", never say never mate
     
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  20. Kempton

    Kempton Well-Known Member

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    Mate, the response from this board has exceeded my expectations something rotten. You gotta love this board and this thread in particular. CTID x
     
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