Off Topic Mental Health Discussion Thread

Long long day today.

Took the wife to the hospital at 7:20. Not allowed beyond the reception. Left with a contact number on a card.
I called at 3pm and they said she was still in theatre no idea when she went in. The op was scheduled for a minimum of six hours. The surgeon rang at five. He said that he was satisfied with the op but this morning he was not sure it would be as good.
I took a chance and rang the crisis ward at six thirty and they put my wife on the phone. She told me that this morning was grim. Her voice was distorted and she sounded weak. She lost a lot of blood and they had to recycle her own blood back into her to maintain some degree of immunity.
Today, I have been sat on my own. I don’t feel sorry for myself. I am glad that my wife has got through the day. Tonight will be a long night and I do not know how she will cope.

I am at a low point. Sleep will if it comes be a blessed relief.
Tomorrow is another day.

 

Sending positive thoughts and love TOM.

Stay strong for her.

 

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My thoughts and best wishes are with you and your nearest and dearest.

Easier said than done but try to stay strong mate.

 

I know she'll be happy knowing you have and always will be there for her TOM. Stay strong for her...

 

****ing hell, Tom. Stay strong, your missus will fight and you're in her corner, along with all of your family and as daft as it may sound, this board. x

 

Sorry about all you are going through. Thinking of you and hope it all improves and life gets back to normal real soon.

Hugs fella.

 

Only just read this - hope you both got through the night ok and your wife is on the mend.

 

I had a call from the wife this morning. She didn’t know that we spoke yesterday. I got to sleep at about 3. I never have had nightmares, but last nights dreams were very dark and deep. Really everything is quite surreal.
The surgeon did his rounds early and he has told her that he is pleased with her progress and she has to get out of bed and walking about today.
I am coping ok and I know that I will cope on the new journey that starts today.

 

It's good that you seem to be staying strong mate. A bit of an understatement to say the least, but it can't be easy for you at the moment, and I hope sharing is helping in some way.

 

Great news about your wife TOM. Stay strong because she's going to need you mate.

We're all with you.

Take care and be safe.

Love to Mrs TOM.

 

It sounds positive TOM. Hope this continues. Mrs A had breast cancer last year and had to have an operation, followed by radiotherapy. Probably not the same level as what you are going though, but it's a real rollercoaster isn't it. You try to remain strong because you can see how scared she is, but don't want to allow yourself to be too positive just in case. ****ing horrible. Wishing you both all the best for the rest of her recovery

 

Have spoken to my wife three times today.
She is still in a high dependency ward. The surgeon saw her twice today as well.
As for me, I am tired, but better in my mindset, one of my busiest days work wise for a while means the day went too quick.
Thanks for all of your kind words. I can’t wait for you all to turn into ****s again.

 

Mrs Gambler had Stage 4 breast cancer in 2006. She had surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy and has been totally clear for nearly 14 years.

BTW I have never stopped being a ****.

 

Fingers still crossed for you both, great she's ok to speak regularly.
We might be ****s, but we're your ****s
Take care

 

Dennis is a an expert in been ****

 

Video call with the wife this afternoon. She went back to her private room at 3pm. First time she has seen sunlight since Monday morning.
She looked as well as could be at this point. But has not had any food since Sunday night either.
Tonight my Son came round with a portable gas ring and cooked home made burgers for tea in the garden, we sat miles apart, talked about our businesses and had a couple of beers. Real Father Son time.
I feel so much better than earlier this week.
Thanks.

 

I've seen your lad's website, bet those burgers were good

 

Yes, not bad at all.

 

I would like to thank you all for the kind words and most of all, this thread. Last Monday seems so long ago. Monday marks the end of my 7th week of lockdown and what maybe the start of another 12 weeks.

I have finally got my head sorted and can see the way forward. I have no financial worries and will earn as much sat at home as being fully out and about. Yesterday was in a way my first and last unnecessary journey.

My wife is doing very well and there is a difference of opinion to when she can come home. One consultant says she should be home now, the other says wait until Monday.
The decision will be made in the morning. My wife says she just wants to do the right thing and if they said another week she would not complain. She is walking and going up and down stairs, eating and has washed. Anyone who has spent time in hospital will know these little things are actually massive steps.

One thing that I would like to point out, the amount of NHS resources my wife has used in the treatment so far over the last 9 weeks

5 nights in a private hospital
2 nights in a NHS hospital
2 operations
6 clinic sessions
4 CT scans
1 MRI full body scan
16 full blood tests
4 ultra sound
2 consultant surgeons
1 non surgical consultant
3 days of one to one nursing
4 stoma nursing calls and visits
1 stoma information pack
3 post op physiotherapist sessions

Apart from the poor communication pre op, everything post op has been fantastic.

The sun is finally peaking out from behind the clouds, but next week we start another journey.