March 14th
- Thread starter Bib Fortuna's Maw
- Start date
Cannae beat a toothless sook
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"The pizza's just oot the oven, Calum"
I'm knackered on both counts. The wife is on a diet and also up on blocks so no steak and no session. I agree that this should not preclude a nosh but as I don't get Horatio without then knocking boots I'm on salad and shaking hands with Pamela for the rest of the week.
Can we make March 17th Kebab and anal day? She'd have all of Mother's Day to recover.
Can we make March 17th Kebab and anal day? She'd have all of Mother's Day to recover.
hopefully she'll hear about this off someone. I cant just come out with "eh btw it's national steak and blowjob day"
Ask her in an email.
EDGE and I got fantastic results going by that rou.......
Actually, naw, yer right - just make sure she has male friends on Facebook.
Translation.
I will have no luck with either red meat or oral sex because my wife is currently on a diet and is also halfway through her menstrual cycle so no steak or sexual intercourse.
Not being willing to perform normal sex should not mean that oral sex performed on me by my wife should be out of bounds but as she doesn't usually advance such an offer without it leading to full penatritive sex I am therefore reduced to eating salad and masturbating until normal service resumes.
Knackered - buggered, up **** creek, perplexed
Up on blocks - painters are in, pissing blood, time of the month
Session - at it like knives, horizontal tango, sexual intercourse
Horatio - as in Hornblower, nosh, gob job, sword swallow, oral sex
Shaking hands with Pamela - as in Anderson (Palm of the Hand-erson), gentleman's pleasure, a ****
I hope this has cleared up any confusion.
You get ****ed over if you're a veggie...
Quorn and a BJ doesn't sound like that special a night
I went out with a veggie and her farts were stinking, man.
Lovely lassie, deadly arse
Veggie spunk is probably pretty rank.
I went out with a veggie and her farts were stinking, man.
Lovely lassie, deadly arse
Veggie spunk is probably pretty rank.
I eat pretty healthily, don't often get evil farts, onion bhajis are the only thing I can think of that sets me off.
Never tried veggie spunk so couldn't say if it tastes bad, haven't had any complaints so far.
Of course you can.
Point out to her that the basis of a solid loving and successful relationship is open and honest communication (The wimmin love that kinda ****)
Then announce it's nosh and steak day.
I could offer to take her out for dinner then I could order the steak then maybe she'll get the drift
I'm getting chicken fajitas and if I'm lucky, I'll get to sniff her jammies before she puts them on.
Just after dinner and before a couple of after dinner drinks tell her to nip aff to the loo and take her knickers aff and show you them in her handbag when she gets back.
You'd be surprised how often that works.
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