Match Day Thread Manchester United v Everton.

You know that scene from American Pie where Jim premature ejaculates the minute he's within sight of Nadia, the fit girl.

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Well Jim is Spurs and Nadia is the Premier League title

 

The pic should be less Jim, more Nadia.

 

Yes. He's one of our own, Stan.

 

Nope, he's a Gooner

 

It's like a support group when the Spuds sing that.

 

You won't get much out of me over the next few days, Stan, as I'm in Exeter, in Devon. Don't tell Pastie, though, as he'll pretend to have been born here as some bizarre wum ritual and I will be forced to mention the cathedral and send him Googling for hours.

You'll be able to catch me in the evenings, though, when I'm lounging around in my hotel room.

 

Mummy imposed a curfew?

 

She's 92, Stan. She doesn't travel well, these days.

No, I'm here on business. As I say, don't let Pastie know, as he'll be declaring citizenship and asking me to name a road that runs off the High Street.

 

Honors Farm

 

No, I wasn't thinking of that one.

 

Google is your friend HIAG.

A word of warning though, Wikipedia can be your enemy.

 

Pastie wouldn't provide me with even half the comedy-gold without it, Stan.

 

Kane has lush hair and only UTD have a Salon that can look after it, so Kane will be at UTD next season

 

She was 83 last week

 

That's what having HIAG as a son will do for you...

 

He gets confused mate, he regularly confuses himself with a property magnet, and a rock idol.

It might be the tedium of shuffling papers in a conveyancing office

2 sugars in mine HIAG

 

No.

 

I know.

HIAG doesn't really have a mum, because he only exists in cyber-space.

It can get confusing, sometimes, Tobes, but don't let it upset you.