Mags embarrassing themselves yet again

He got carted off.

 

Off to Edinburgh Fringe as a new ventriloquist act!

 

Aye, an thems like

 

Is it true they're calling the baby Keegan

 

Never a truer word said in cest

 

They had to have a DNA test.

The doctor asked who was the father ...

... the mother just said d'na.

BTW, this is currently the fastest selling book at Waterstones, Newcastle ...

... the Geordie equivalent of 'Fifty Shades of Grey'

please log in to view this image

 

Fooking hell

 

Did you hear about the Newcastle supporter who had sex with his bosses daughter.



He was self employed

 

Surveys show that inhabitants of Newcastle have more sex than the rest of the UK.



But I suppose it's all relative.

 

What's the difference between a posh meal and a Newcastle supporters mams fanny ?


Newcastle supporters have never eaten a posh meal.

 

What's the difference between a fridge and a Newcastle supporters mam ...

... the fridge doesn't fart when her son puts the meat in.

 

F*ck sake man

 

In honour of this story, perhaps they could play Tom Lehrer's 'Oedipus Rex' , at The Scrapyard, as a tribute to this sole who's only crime was to 'love his mother'

The song comes in after about two minutes, (IF I've done it right)
OR here are the words, ----

From the Bible to the popular song
There's one theme that we find right along
Of all ideals they hail as good
The most sublime is motherhood
There was a man though, who it seems
Once carried this ideal to extremes
He loved his mother and she loved him
And yet his story is rather grim
There once lived a man named Oedipus Rex
You may have heard about his odd complex
His name appears in Freud's index
'Cause he loved his mother
His rivals used to say quite a bit
That as a monarch he was most unfit
But still in all they had to admit
That he loved his mother
Yes, he loved his mother like no other
His daughter was his sister and his son was his brother
One thing on which you can depend is
He sure knew who a boy's best friend is
When he found what he had done
He tore his eyes out, one by one
A tragic end to a loyal son
Who loved his mother
So be sweet and kind to mother now and then have a chat
Buy her candy or some flowers or a brand new hat
But maybe you had better let it go at that
Or you may find yourself with a quite complex, complex
And you may end up like Oedipus
I'd rather marry a duck-billed platypus
Than end up like old Oedipus Rex

 

My Mam would be ashamed if she saw that post

 

What's the difference between a mag lass and a washing machine?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around for weeks after you've dumped your load in it .

 

Forgot all about Man U being their rivals

 

I think Leeds got in there first

 

Grew up with a bitter rivalry between the two?

Is that when Fergie got inside Keegans head and he chucked away the league with "I'd love it if we beat them!"?

Was one season wasn't it? Two at a push?

This is what's odd about that lot even their media embellish stuff to make them seem like a global super club!

 

Last weekend my mam was on the bus home from Newcastle and a middle aged bloke (with latest town top on) was with his wife. Another town supporter wearing an old away top got on and sat down near him, started chatting. The whole bus was then made to endure about how great their club was, how rich they were, who they should buy etc etc. After 15 minutes, the bloke on his own got off. When the bus started to pull away the bloke turned to his wife and said something along the lines of 'He's not a true supporter, a true supporter would be wearing the latest home shirt, not an old away one!'

 

Does anyone know any Mufc supporters ? Would be interesting to ask wether they know anything about this rivalry