I've never been one for drinking alone mate, but I'm actually sound on the drink. It's sober when I'm at my worst. It's right what you say though having a downer on yourself and not feeling able to change that, **** me it's tough on you.
The hallucinogenic fungi come out just before the most depressing part of the year, accident or design? both types are fairly easy to recognise and hard to mistake for something deadly, though you have to prepare the animata muscaria properly or it could make you a bit ill.
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Ketamine is in clinical trials for depression - at much lower doses than those at which it is used as an anaesthetic. It has a rapid effect - within hours - compared to the several weeks needed for SSRIs. Ketamine belongs to a class of compounds known as NMDA receptor antagonists - something I have been conducting research on for over 30 years. Better compounds than ketamine are likely to come into the clinic in time. Another good thing about ketamine is that it alleviates depression in treatment resistant patients. Probably why it has been fast tracked by the FDA - in Phase 3 clinical trials at present.