Longstaff

What was he doing? humping a melon?

 

That would explain why he always lumbered around the pitch like he'd had 17 pints....

I met Patrick Vierra and his missus a few weeks ago, now he is HUGE, lovely guy too.

 

I saw Titus Bramble once as well...he's fooking massive as well. I just looked at him and thought how the **** do you get knocked off the ball so easily

 

I'll never forget seeing him in Scalinis at the Three Mile. Friday night out with an unbelievable young lass who he clearly had there for the end of night proceedings as he was pretty rude to her. He was ****ered and knocked into every table on the way out. I think he was lucky someone didn't get up and lamp him.

Imagine my surprise when I saw the teamsheet the next day and he was starting centre half! Needless to say he had a shocker.

 

Is everyone on here short? Bramble is only 6'1 according to Wiki

 

Chippy’s always short when its his round.

 

Aye I never thought he was that big. He was ****ing wide though. At least that's what the young lass said the next day when I saw her walking like John Wayne

I know two lasses who slept with Newcastle footballers.

One was Bramble, she worked at the Gosforth Park Hotel. Supposedly a very big lad in the right area, but an absolute bell end. She was a proper goer, slept with a couple of my mates in the same night. Not at the same time and unbeknown to them, until the next day. House party which got loose, particularly for her clearly!

The other was Moussa Sissoko. Now bear in mind the girl in question was thick as ****. She described him as stupid and barely able to speak English, saying he mainly grunted when responding. The conversation must have been riveting. On the flip side my mate asked if he had a cock the size of a stereotypical black man, and she described his cock as a similar size to two coke cans stuck together

****ing ****ers, thick as ****, but got a **** load of money and a massive wang.

 

So she's a rapist anarl then?

These coke cans...side by side or one in front of the other ;-)

 

One on top of the other mate. This means she said his cock was roughly 9.66 inches long, and 2.6 inches in diameter.

I don't think it can be classed as rape My sentence structure should have made it clear they didn't know about each other having steamrollered her. Not that they didn't know about her mounting them.

 

Talking about the size of someone's penis, this has got off topic. Well perhaps not given that the title is Long staff

 

Pouches wife calls him long stump

 

Precisely what that name makes me think every time I hear it

 

Ah the tale of black mens cocks, the legend always turns out to be true.

And on that subject, Orientals are supposed to be teeny tiny, so we need to find a slag to have a 3 some with Ki and Muto to validate that one.

Apparently the reason Colo put in a transfer request mid season was cos he'd got some geordie slapper pregnant and his wife ran off back to Argentina in disgust and he wanted to go there to save his marriage. Seeing as Colo's hair was like pubes, I wonder if his actual pubes were dead straight, just to balance things out yknow.

 

Pubes are curly so they don't poke your eyes out. Least that was the case when I was a young buck and lasses had a healthy bush to be proud of, none of this shaved fanny and brazilian nonsence.
Them were the days when I used to brush my teeth with Immac.

 

I heard she had cleaned up her act though since you married her - except when Chippy is around of course.

 

Did you know that KDB has a poster of Longstaff on his wall?

 

Longstaff is the reason we didn’t get Samaria I reckon.

Mike will have seen him rise and say ‘just like a new signing’...

 

To be fair mate he did not look out of place on Tues night as I said. I thought he was gonna get his arse handed to him but he handled the game exceptionally well in my opinion, plus he was in the right place at the right time to win us the penalty. I'm super pleased for the lad cos it means Rafa has a decision to make now when Shelvey/Ki/Diame are all fit. This kid will only get better in my opinion and needs to keep his place and he deserves to as he's hardly put a foot wrong. I wince whenever I see Hayden's name on the team sheet (or bench for that matter) so the sooner someone is fit enough to take his place I'll be a bit happier. I think Ki / Longstaff in MF with Almiron in front of them could be ****ing dynamite. Shelvey is gonna have to rein it in and stop trying to ping worldie passes all over the place if he gets back in the team. I can see a lot going through Almiron but we need to be careful to not rely solely on him.