Off Topic lockdown humour

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realred1952

realred1952

Well-Known Member
Oct 3, 2020
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So I was at Lidl earlier with my service dog. The lady in front of me at checkout had about £200 worth of toilet paper in her shopping trolley.
With an attitude she asked me what type of dog I had. I told her it was my service dog. Then she got real sarky and said, I knew that. What type of service? I said he was an ALD.
By now he was licking her face and hands being super friendly. She said, what is a ALD? I told her it stood for Ass Licking Dog. She said Ass Licking Dog? I said yeah, he has been trained to lick my bum clean, because I can't seem to be able to find toilet paper because of hoarders. The cashier completely lost it.
 
husband ...I want you to have this bracelet, it belonged to my grandmother
Wife … why does it say "do not resuscitate?"

you have no idea whats in that vaccine ……
says michelle who buys 40 burghers from Farm foods for £2.50p
 
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