Stolen from Bridget Jones' Diary.. There was a young woman from Ealing, Who had a peculiar feeling, She lay on her back, And opened her crack, Then pissed all over the ceiling !!
There was an owld fella named pops Who knew how to pull out all the stops After stale beans from the tin And a bucket of gin He'd grin as his underwear drops.
There once was a pervert called Dave, Who dug up a prostitutes grave, She was mouldy as ****, And missing one tit, But look at the money he saved !!
There once was a chap named Raw Who stopped to open a door For a girl who walked past The attraction didn't last It was gazza, the cross dressing dirty whore.
There was a man called Smug Who confessed that he once was thug The Mag fans all love him and push him and shove him As they all want to give him a tug..
To be fair... There was a young lad named disc Who's dick smelt like lobster bisque His disk it flopped To the docters he hopped Who told him that was the always risk.
There once was a fan of the Mags, Who liked to throw punches at Nags, He swung for it's Jaw, Then was dragged to the floor, Spent a year inside jail trading ***s.
There once was a mod named Sid He ran and he ran, he dodged and he hid Scared to death and all out of breath Better that than do as his wife bid.
There is a man named Funky Who is said to be built rather chunky, He had a toy cock that no one could knock That got lost up the arse of a monkey..
Big Chris pulled in his new coat, But she thought him a bit of a scrote, Despite all of his rants, He got his hand in her pants, And played with the man in the boat.
There was a monkey named Gus He was known for badly parking the bus The fans grew tired And he got fired Now his name is only spoken in disgust.
There once was a black and white twat Who wore a ****ers hat. We laughed and got pissed When his penalty missed Now the ****ers old, bald and fat.
There was an old Dutchman named Dick A mixture of booze and a prick He picked the lads And his wife got mad Let's **** the mags and take the mick.
Yeah that was a poor effort by a ******s standards. Done a Gerrard and gone on far too long. Time to let someone else take over
There once was a young man from Shipdam Whose wifes kinky sex really flipped him His favourite trick Was to balance on his prick And spin like a top when she whipped him
Pardew tripped and hurt his big toe, Which made him feel desperately low, He arrived at Sid James' park, Expecting a bit of a lark, But it ended up four in a Row.
