1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic Lighten Up - have a laugh: Warning, may contain Adult Material

Discussion in 'Horse Racing' started by Ron, Oct 31, 2011.

Page 49 of 78
  1. OddDog

    OddDog Mild mannered janitor
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2011
    Messages:
    28,677
    Likes Received:
    10,470
    Greg Davies is really funny Cyc - check out this clip from "Mock The Week" where they have to improvise "deleted lines from a fantasy film". Masterful bit of dry humour from Greg at 2:05 <laugh>

     
    #961
    OddDog, Sep 20, 2018
    Cyclonic and bayernkenny like this.
  2. Chaninbar

    Chaninbar The Crafty Cockney

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2011
    Messages:
    4,708
    Likes Received:
    3,199
    White House Official: "Mr President Hurricane Florence is threatening to cause us some serious trouble"

    President Trump: "Offer her the same deal as Stormy Daniels"
     
    #962
    Chaninbar, Sep 20, 2018
    Cyclonic and karlos5001 like this.
  3. OddDog

    OddDog Mild mannered janitor
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2011
    Messages:
    28,677
    Likes Received:
    10,470
    More Greg Davies <laugh>

     
    #963
    OddDog, Sep 20, 2018
    bayernkenny likes this.
  4. Ron

    Ron Well-Known Member
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    48,626
    Likes Received:
    16,131
    I got chased by a police car yesterday. I was on my way home when I spotted a police car in my rear view mirror. I put my foot down and sped off, not wanting to be pulled over, only to see it was closing on me. So I booted it up to 150mph and left the bugger behind. Once I had lost it I pulled over off the road to recover from too much excitement. About 5 minutes later the bloody car pulled up behind me and a policeman asked me to step out of the car. "Do you know what speed you were going sir?" he said. What could I say? "Yes officer I'm sorry." He said "Well you better have a very good reason or it's going to be a hefty on the spot fine sir." I told him "I don't like to talk about it but 2 years ago my wife cheated on me. It was with a policeman and he took her away from me. I thought it was him bringing her back". He let me off
     
    #964
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2018
    Ron, Sep 20, 2018
    SwanHills, Cyclonic, karlos5001 and 1 other person like this.
  5. OddDog

    OddDog Mild mannered janitor
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2011
    Messages:
    28,677
    Likes Received:
    10,470
    3830F3FD-F1C5-4F9F-AA60-0BF1E8CDB284.jpeg
     
    #965
    OddDog, Sep 21, 2018
    redcgull, karlos5001 and Ron like this.
  6. OddDog

    OddDog Mild mannered janitor
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2011
    Messages:
    28,677
    Likes Received:
    10,470
    What would happen if Nestle merged with Cadburys?


    2E6A5481-1DBF-4FC1-8958-931FA90BE7CD.jpeg
     
    #966
    OddDog, Sep 21, 2018
    redcgull, karlos5001, bayernkenny and 1 other person like this.
  7. SwanHills

    SwanHills Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Messages:
    10,833
    Likes Received:
    5,373
    Didn't you know that? You Yorkshiremen are as thick as your bloody pudding sometimes…..<laugh>
     
    #967
    SwanHills, Sep 21, 2018
  8. SwanHills

    SwanHills Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Messages:
    10,833
    Likes Received:
    5,373
    :emoticon-0119-puke: Ugggh! Thanks Oddy, used to love milk chocolate, not any more! <laugh>
     
    #968
    SwanHills, Sep 21, 2018
    OddDog likes this.
  9. Cyclonic

    Cyclonic Well Hung Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2011
    Messages:
    15,320
    Likes Received:
    3,434
    WARNING. CRUDITY IN THE CLIP.

    Jim Jefferies. Ya' can't take him anywhere. <laugh>

    The last suspect word starts with "f," ends in "ing," and has to do with the digits on a hand.

     
    #969
    Cyclonic, Sep 25, 2018
    bayernkenny likes this.
  10. OddDog

    OddDog Mild mannered janitor
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2011
    Messages:
    28,677
    Likes Received:
    10,470
    99E6C0AA-81DC-44BB-B139-5376BA4C512D.jpeg
     
    #970
    OddDog, Sep 29, 2018
    Chaninbar, redcgull, Cyclonic and 1 other person like this.

  11. OddDog

    OddDog Mild mannered janitor
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2011
    Messages:
    28,677
    Likes Received:
    10,470
    DA23F8E3-BBF5-4E57-918A-E5C44BE577D9.jpeg
     
    #971
    OddDog, Oct 3, 2018
    Chaninbar, karlos5001, Cyclonic and 1 other person like this.
  12. SwanHills

    SwanHills Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Messages:
    10,833
    Likes Received:
    5,373
    <laugh>
     
    #972
    SwanHills, Oct 3, 2018
  13. SwanHills

    SwanHills Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2011
    Messages:
    10,833
    Likes Received:
    5,373
    Homemade Kürbis Suppe (Pumpkin Soup) ready in a minute. Bloody delicious, regardless of that ****ing cartoon Mr. OddDog! <laugh>
     
    #973
    SwanHills, Oct 5, 2018
    bayernkenny likes this.
  14. Cyclonic

    Cyclonic Well Hung Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2011
    Messages:
    15,320
    Likes Received:
    3,434
    I've heard that the Scots have an infallible cure for sea-sickness, they lean over the side of the ship with a ten pence coin in their teeth.
     
    #974
    Cyclonic, Oct 10, 2018
    SwanHills likes this.
  15. OddDog

    OddDog Mild mannered janitor
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2011
    Messages:
    28,677
    Likes Received:
    10,470
    E7759ECC-BBB8-41C5-A0D7-F1F052EC2126.jpeg
     
    #975
    OddDog, Oct 11, 2018
    redcgull, karlos5001 and Chaninbar like this.
  16. Resurgam

    Resurgam Top Analyst
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    20,831
    Likes Received:
    4,915
    This made me chuckle anyway.

     
    #976
    Resurgam, Oct 13, 2018
  17. Grendel

    Grendel Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2018
    Messages:
    2,737
    Likes Received:
    1,798
    Man in the street turns to an old lady and points to a woman across the road and says "See her? I wouldn't piss on her if she was on fire". The old lady is shocked and replies "Goodness me, you must really hate that woman" The guy casually replies "I've no idea who she is, I just don't want to burn my cock"
     
    #977
    Grendel, Oct 13, 2018
  18. Ron

    Ron Well-Known Member
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    48,626
    Likes Received:
    16,131
    The World Champion Tongue Twister has been arrested. There is talk of him getting a long sentence

    I went to the doctors and told him my arm hurts in several places. He told me not to go there any more

    On the way back I went shopping to buy some camouflage trousers, but I couldn't find any

    On the M6 yesterday, a cement mixing lorry collided with a police van. Police have requested that motorists keep a lookout for 6 hardened criminals

    A lorry containing sinus sprays overturned on the M25 today. Police say there will be no congestion for 4 hours

    My wife reckons sex is better on holiday. That wasn't a very nice post card to get
     
    #978
    Ron, Oct 18, 2018
    karlos5001 and Cyclonic like this.
  19. Grendel

    Grendel Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2018
    Messages:
    2,737
    Likes Received:
    1,798
    New product in Boots. Viagra eye drops, for men who want to look hard.
     
    #979
    Grendel, Oct 18, 2018
    karlos5001, Ron, Cyclonic and 1 other person like this.
  20. OddDog

    OddDog Mild mannered janitor
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2011
    Messages:
    28,677
    Likes Received:
    10,470
    27B22317-1216-4314-B6CA-3745D2853C98.jpeg
     
    #980
    OddDog, Oct 18, 2018
    Cyclonic, Chaninbar and karlos5001 like this.
Page 49 of 78

Share This Page