I was in a bar the other day, so I thought I'd try and charm the blonde sort sat down on her own at a table. I said "Get my coat, you've pulled a chauvinist."
Last week's Senior's Golf joke.. Out of work for 7 years, Fred goes to Employment Exchange , but there's only one vacancy..."Morris Dancer required." Desperate, he says..."I'll take it." Interviewer insists on checking his 'privates' prior to giving him the job. After dropping his pants, interviewer says... "Sorry, I can't give you the job; you've been circumcised." "What the hell does that matter!" says Fred. "Simple, says the interviewer....you've got to be a complete prick to be a Morris dancer!" Oops! Ladies looking where they shouldn't!
A woman told her plastic surgeon that she wanted her labia reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret, and the surgeon agreed. Waking up from the anesthesia after the surgery, she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed. Outraged, she calls in the doctor. 'I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!'The surgeon assured her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality, and that the first rose was from him. 'I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself. The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had the same procedure done some time ago.''And what about the third rose?' she asked. 'That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears.' ..
Went to a ’70s disco the other night. Bought all sorts of cool gear, too: platform boots, coloured flares, an afro wig... But in retro specs I looked a twat.
Wife says to hubby, "How would you like me to cook you a full English breakfast,sausage bacon,eggs,mushrooms, hash browns, the whole works" Hubby says "no thanks i'm not hungry, must be the Viagra" Later on wife says "How would you like me to do you a nice crispy salad with home cooked ham for lunch" Hubby says "no thanks i'm not hungry, must be the Viagra" Later on wife says "How do you fancy a nice juicey steak with home made chips and fresh peas" Hubby says "no thanks i'm not hungry, must be the viagra" Wife says "well get off me you dirty sod I'm bloody starving" Talking of Viagra, when it first came out it was in liquid form in little white bottles, my dad mixed his up with the Tipex, had the biggest correction ever.
That video had me pee peeing myself, mighty! Ron, anyword on the time being fixed on the site, it's been a week and even I've my car clock changed by now
Mmmn.. strange. It's only if you're not logged in it has the times GMT +1. If you log out it'll show you that you posted at 5.03pm.
Hmmm! That is strange. The timings on mine seem a little fast. I posted my previous comment more than 3 minutes ago but according to my computer and phone (both radio controlled clocks) it is now 4.06. Edit: And not 4.12 as it says!!
