If you buy stuff on line, check out the seller carefully. Be careful what you purchase on eBay. A friend spent £50 on a penis enlarger. Bastards sent him a magnifying glass. Instructions said, "Do not use in the sunlight".
I think I'll never tire of watching this [video=youtube;z6pJY5fbSS4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6pJY5fbSS4[/video]
Very good OddDog. Still don't understand why my folks organise their day around this programme though!
This must be one of the best trailers ever. What a classic clip/line from Johnny Depp- ending in ..........." there must be something wrong with that horse." [video]www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjFsNSoDZK8[/video]
I was opposite this really sexy Thai girl on the bus the other day. Please don't get and erection, I thought, please don't get an erection. But she did.
Paddy's wife asked him for a rape alarm. The next morning he pinned her to the bed, put his hand over her mouth, gave her one up the bum and whispered in her ear "it's time to get up".
On his 10th birthday, little Johnny's father took him aside. "I think you're old enough now that we should have a talk about the birds and the bees." "No!" said little Johnny. "When I turned 6 you told me there was no Easter Bunny and when I turned 8 you told me there was no Santa Claus." "So now if you're going to tell me adults don't really ****, I don't wanna hear it!"
The police came round my house last week. They showed me a picture and said "is this your wife" I said yes and they said "it looks like she's been hit by a bus" I said "I know but she's good with the kids and gives amazing blowjobs".
Two blokes are sitting in a pub, one turns the other and says. "I ****ed ya' mother." The room goes deathly quiet. Again the bloke says. "I'm telling ya', I ****ed ya' mother." The second bloke by now has had a gutful. "For Christ's sake dad, will ya' shut the **** up."
A man turns round to his son on his 16 the birthday and said "here you go son - there's a £100 - go and get yourself a whore so you can find out about women". He wanders through a market and his Grandmother sees him and says "what did your dad buy you for your birthday". He tells her and she says "put your money away - I'll teach you all about women" He gets home and his dad asks how it went "that sex is the best thing since sliced bread - cheers dad". His dad asks how much it cost and he tells him it was free because he went and shagged his nan. The dad says "you mean you've just ficked my mother?" - the lad says "well you've been ****ing mine".
The trouble with TV today ......................... not enough of this: [video=youtube;h0FiikZTi0A]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0FiikZTi0A[/video]
I don't do twitter but tweet of the week from the Sunday Times raised a smile. Following the Barcelona Centre back Pique's sending of journo Luke Reddy tweeted: Commentator "He will go to bed thinking about that tonight " I think he's forgetting Piqué goes to bed with Shakira
