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Off Topic Last Person To Post Wins...........

Discussion in 'Bristol City' started by Shinycitylad7, Apr 11, 2012.

  1. gas

    gas ACCOUNT DELETED Forum Moderator

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    A little damp and City82 are still **** <ok>
     
    #1601
  2. tiger-emyrs-wolf

    tiger-emyrs-wolf Well-Known Member

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    wet and city are still better than the other lot at the rugby ground
     
    #1602
  3. RedorDead

    RedorDead Well-Known Member

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    **** weather here, now go and get yourself some romance and lose that virginity <ok>
     
    #1603
  4. wizered

    wizered Ol' Mucker Staff Member

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    I thought he was moaning at having only 42 today,I was gonna say that ain't half bad....
     
    #1604
  5. pirate49

    pirate49 Well-Known Member Forum Moderator

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    ..........shh...at last........an end to this nonsense......shh.........
     
    #1605
  6. wizered

    wizered Ol' Mucker Staff Member

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    ......shh......you know it makes sense....
     
    #1606

  7. RedorDead

    RedorDead Well-Known Member

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    Bored bored bored now without the footie on :(
     
    #1607
  8. thephatone

    thephatone Member

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    The phatone sneaks in from behind and surely victory is his...........
     
    #1608
  9. wizered

    wizered Ol' Mucker Staff Member

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    Sorry....but you know it makes sense.....shh....
     
    #1609
  10. RedorDead

    RedorDead Well-Known Member

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    Still bored even watched Eastenders, to try and cheer me up <ok>
     
    #1610
  11. wizered

    wizered Ol' Mucker Staff Member

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    -A cucumber, an olive and a penis are talking.
    The cucumber says "I hate my life, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me in salad."
    The olive says "That's nothing, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me on pizza."
    The penis says "You think you have it bad, when I get big fat and juicy they put me in a bag, throw me in a cave, shut the door and leave me there till I throw up"
     
    #1611
  12. wizered

    wizered Ol' Mucker Staff Member

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    How To Get Hired At ASDA

    A manager at had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of CV's he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

    The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know of?'

    The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.

    'That's very good!' replied the interviewer. 'And, now you sir?', he asked the second man.

    'Hmmm...let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.'

    'Excellent!' said the interviewer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed.' He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.

    'Well, out at my dad's farm, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. 'Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'.

    The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. 'It's hard to beat the speed of light,' he said.

    Turning to ChrisGashead, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.

    Old Chrissy replied, 'After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.'

    'WHAT!?' said the interviewer, stunned by the response.

    'Oh sure', said Chrisssy. 'You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good the "gas" had lost as usual , and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already **** my pants.'

    ChrisGashead is now the new greeter at a ASDA near you!
     
    #1612
  13. banksyisourhero

    banksyisourhero Well-Known Member

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    That is quite possible, the greeter of my local ASDA is a complete and utter tosser...
     
    #1613
  14. tiger-emyrs-wolf

    tiger-emyrs-wolf Well-Known Member

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    banksy next time u is asda get me 2 bottles of pepsi max cherry :)
     
    #1614
  15. banksyisourhero

    banksyisourhero Well-Known Member

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    Im not going in there again now i know its chris gashead...;)
     
    #1615
  16. wizered

    wizered Ol' Mucker Staff Member

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    Just as well he s...ts in his pants......<laugh><laugh>
     
    #1616
  17. tiger-emyrs-wolf

    tiger-emyrs-wolf Well-Known Member

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    which asda we talking about so everyone knows which 1 to avoid
     
    #1617
  18. wizered

    wizered Ol' Mucker Staff Member

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    We're still going strong....
     
    #1618
  19. pirate49

    pirate49 Well-Known Member Forum Moderator

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    .....until the end....
     
    #1619
  20. wizered

    wizered Ol' Mucker Staff Member

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    ...of the beginning...
     
    #1620

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