I've just tried to buy a Dracula costume for Halloween But the girl in the shop tried to sell me a Newcastle shirt. I said I think you must have misheard me.... I want to look like a count!
Phoned the RSPCA yesterday. I was walking in the woods and found a suitcase, in the suit case was a fox and four cubs. she said that’s terrible are they moving. not sure but that would explain the suitcase
I see Rishi Sunak has put together a new cabinet ... ... I expect he got used to knocking them together for his dad's shop.
Racehorse doping is not unknown in Ireland. One day, the Clerk of the Course spotted a trainer giving something to a horse just before the start of a race. He went over and said, "Doping?" The trainer said, "Indeed not, Sor. 'Tis just lump sugar. Look, I'll take a bit meself.....see?" The Clerk of the Course said, "Sorry, but we have to be careful. As a matter of fact, I like a bit of sugar meself." So the trainer gave him a piece. When the Clerk of the Course disappeared, the trainer gave his jockey his last minute instructions, "Don't forget the drill. Hold him in 'til the last four furlongs. Don't worry if anything passes ye, it'll be me or the Clerk of the Course!"
