Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

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I’ve just looked out of my front door in Hall Farm and noticed loads of people outside. When I asked what was going on I found out it was the back of the queue to view the Queen lying in state.

 

I arrived at the restaurant a bit early for a family meal and the manager said
"Would you mind waiting for a while ?"

"Not at all" I replied.
"Good" he said "Take these 2 Coq au Vins over to the couple by the window, then start clearing tables 4 and 7"

 

Oldie but goodie.

 

Here's another one, then . . . .

I start my new job as an apprentice bell ringer tomorrow.

It's my first day, so they'll just be showing me the ropes.

 

Me after visiting the middle aisle in Aldi.

 

I should, perhaps, treat her to dinner first

 

Diane Abbot was recently asked about a situation in Aleppo . . . . she said that she was never a fan of the Marx brothers.

 

Has this one been shown yet

 

Today's HDM reports on the progress of the A63 upgrade. Two new sewers have had to be built according to Yorkshire Water spokesman, Dale Crapper.

 

Did you know the bellringer's son was tolled off by the vicar

 

Marvellous

 

Cap doffed to his mam. Brilliant that and his smile afterwards could light up the darkest place

 

What a fantastic mam . Take note those mothers who just stick a screen in the hands of children because they can’t be bothered to do much else.

 

A hungry bloke walks into a seedy cafe in Glasgow.......
He sits at the counter and notices a Jock with his arms folded staring blankly at a bowl of chilli.
After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the
hungry bloke bravely asks,
"If you aren't going to eat that, mind if I do?"
The old Jock slowly turns his head toward the young bloke and says,
"Nah, ye can gae ahead."
Eagerly, the young bloke reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight.
He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chilli.
The sight was shocking and he immediately pukes up the chilli back into the bowl.
The old Jock says:- "Aye, that's as far as I got too".

 

Australia have just had a general election. The main concern is about the number of illegal immigrants there are. Government sources suggest around 60,000. Aboriginal sources say it's more like twenty two and a half million of the bastards