A girl came up to me in the club and said, "I haven't had a c*ck for nearly two weeks now." I asked her back to my place and we started fooling around. We got undressed, and that was when I noticed that she still had the scars from the operation.
Just talking to some Norwich fans who said they are from a village in Norfolk called In Way. Norfolk in way I said.
Avoid the energy crisis this winter by alternating between your local library and Wetherspoons all day thus being able to turn your heating off. Your wife might moan but tell her to put an extra coat on until you come home!
Worried about Gas & Lecky prices this winter? Fear not, a twisted ankle will get you into A&E. A 12 hour wait and all the heat and power you need. Bingo!!..
Just walked through someone's cloud of vape smoke and came out the other side as 'Cher' on 'Stars in their Eyes.'
A vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on my door the other day and before I could say that I was not interested he had tipped a bucket full of dog poo over my carpet and said “if this vacuum doesn’t remove every trace of what I’ve just emptied onto your carpet I’ll personally eat what is left”. “Well I sincerely hope that you’re hungry because they cut off my electric this morning” I replied
Me and the wife had sex for 3 hours last night We role played as doctor and patient I was stuck in the waiting room for 2 hours and 59 minutes
For a laugh, next time you go into a supermarket to get loads of booze and ***s, get a packet of nappies as well. When the cashier tells you how much it is, tell her you don't have enough...........and put the nappies back.
