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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Winalot the dog food company is in dire financial trouble and has had to call in the retrievers
     
    #17561
  2. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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  3. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  4. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  5. samwise_new

    samwise_new Well-Known Member

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    Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson and bragged that, despite being 72 years of age, he could still have sex three times a night.
    Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued.
    After the show, Cilla says, "Sean, if I'm not bein too forward, I'd luv to 'ave sex with yer. Lets go back to my 'ouse, we could 'ave a lorra fun."
    So they went back to her place and got comfortable.
    After a couple of drinks they went off to bed and had an hour of mad passionate sex together.
    Afterwards, Sean says, "If you think that was good, let me shleep for half an hour, and we can have better shex. But while I'm shleeping, hold my balls in your left hand and ma willie in your right hand."
    Cilla looks a bit perplexed, but says, "Okay."
    He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex than before.
    Then Sean says, 'Cilla, that was wonderful. But if you let me shleep for an hour, we can have the besht shex yet. You'll have to......."
    "I know Sean. Yer want me to 'old onto yer bat 'n balls again. No problem hun."
    Cilla complies with the routine.
    The results this time are absolutely mind blowing.
    Once it's all over, they have a drink, Sean lights a cigarette and Cilla asks. "Sean, tell me, dis 'oldin yer balls in one hand and yer willie in de other - does it really stimulate yer that much?"
    Sean replies, "No, not at all Cilla, but the last time I shlept with a scouser, the ****ing bitch stole ma wallet."
     
    #17565
    Nordic, Gil T Azell, Philftm and 9 others like this.
  6. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  7. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    Roger goes to his doctor for his medical and gets sent to the urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers that the urologist is a very pretty female doctor.
    The doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate take a deep breath and say '99' "
    Roger obeys and says "99"
    The doctor says "Great . . . . now turn over onto your left side and again, while repeating the check, take a deep breath and say '99"
    Again Roger says '99'
    The doctor said "Very good. Now I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say '99' "
    Roger begins "One ... Two ...Three"
     
    #17567
    Gil T Azell, MrRAWhite, Draig and 2 others like this.
  8. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  9. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  10. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  11. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  12. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  13. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    I went to see an orchestra last night and was appalled by what I witnessed.

    Call me uptight, but there was too much sax and violins for me.
     
    #17573
  14. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  15. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    A man sees a small boy begging for money, walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.
    The boy asks "what/who gave me away ?"
    The man responds "your parents"
     
    #17575
    MrRAWhite, Draig and spirit of 73 like this.
  16. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  17. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  18. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  19. Vincemac

    Vincemac Well-Known Member

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    upload_2022-7-15_12-55-27.png

    I’ve been looking for this pic
    Now I’ve found it I thought it was our new strip
    But it’s not
     
    #17579
  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #17580

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