I’ve just heard this on the radio this morning and I really hope it’s true. Bill Shankly doing his team talk before Liverpool v Manchester United game: “Paddy Crerand is not as fast as he used to be on the turn so get tight on his shoulder and go past him every opportunity” “Nobby Stiles is quite short so loft a couple of balls over his head” “Alex Stepney doesn’t like to be crowded in his box so put a couple of men on him at corners” He went through most of the team in a similar way pointing out the weaknesses. Someone from the back chirped up “Here boss, you haven’t mentioned Best, Charlton or Law” Shankly responded “Jesus, I’ve sorted most of their players for you, if eleven of you can’t beat three of them you shouldn’t be playing for Liverpool”
Two large black women are discussing what to wear on their first plane journey when one says "I'm going to wear some shiny pink panties in case the plane crashes and I am lying arse up . . . . they will see me first" The other says "No . . . . I ain't wearing any panties 'cos I saw on t.v. that if it goes down the first thing that they look for is a black box"
