Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

My missus is getting a bit lazy . . . . I was watching the match, and when I went for a piss the sink was full of pots !

 

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scouser sat at a bar and a bloke siddles up to him, obviously a bit camp flicking his hair and manicuring his nails, he leans over to the scouser and whispers into his ear....the scouse says "you ****" and knocks him spark out...the barman says "**** me,what did he say".....scouse replies "dunno...something about a job"



well blow me

 

He's home.

 

The Pope is having some work done in the vatican. As he is passing one of the carpenters hits his thumb with a hammer
"Fecking Hell!" he cries.
The Pope is horrified and tells the carpenter "My son, this is the house of God, such profanities are not appropriate here. If you have hurt yourself in some way you should offer your prayer to our lord Jesus and he will give you relief from your suffering"
Next day as the Pope is passing the same carpenter chops off his fingers with a saw. "Oh my God! Sweet Jesus please help me now!" says the carpenter.
With that the fingers levitate themselves and re-attach themselves to the poor carpenter's hand, all the blood disappears and the carpenter wiggles his fingers,
"Fecking Hell" says the Pope.

 

I want to give a big shout out to the lady next door who loaned me a big cover to stop my stuff getting wet.

Ta Pauline

 

Irish Fishing
It was raining hard and a big puddle had formed in front of a little Irish pub.
An old man stood beside the puddle holding a stick with a string on the end and jiggled it up and down in the water when a curious visiting gentleman asked what he was doing.
“Fishing” replied the old man.
Poor old fool, thought the gentlemen, so he invited the old man to have a drink in the pub.
Feeling that he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whiskey, the gentleman asked
“How many have you caught today ?”
“You're the eighth.”

 

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