A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing and the aroma of perfume filled the room. "What are you doing?" she asked. "I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered. "But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed. "This is my LOVE dress," the daughter-in-law explained. "LOVE dress? But you're naked!" "My husband LOVES me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me." The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively. "What are you doing?" he asked. "This is my LOVE dress," she whispered, sensually. "Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"
iWhats the difference between Iron man and Iron woman? Iron man is a super hero & Iron woman is a simple instruction
An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day.The daughter said to her mother, 'My hands are freezing cold.' The mother replied, 'Put them between your legs and your body heat will warm them up.' The daughter did, and her hands warmed up. The next day the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, 'My hands are freezing cold.' The girl replied, 'Put them between my legs and the warmth of my body will warm them up.' He did and warmed his hands. The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said, 'My nose is cold.' The girl replied 'Put it between my legs, the warmth of my body will warm it up.' He did and warmed his nose. The day after the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter, and he said, 'My penis is frozen solid.' The next day, the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother again, And she asks, 'Have you ever heard of a penis?' Concerned the mother said, 'Why yes..... Why do you ask?' The daughter replies, 'They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don't they!!!'
I bought some sexy crotchless knickers in Ann Summers today. "A surprise for the wife?" asked the cashier. "Maybe" I replied, "It all depends on whether she catches me wearing them or not
Did you hear about the psychic dwarf that escaped from prison? Police are looking for a small, medium at large.
