I thought that getting old would make it less likely for me to kill someone. Ironically I've realised that prison isn't the deterrent it once was ... ... a life sentence wouldn't last as long these days, I wouldn't have to be arsed making three meals a day and I'd only have one neighbour. And if I don't get on with him I'll just kill him and see what the next one is like, they can't lock me up twice
I went to the Arctic and was chased by a bear. It caught me but was surprisingly gentle and affectionate then turned nasty and savagely attacked me .... ... it was a bi-polar bear
A bloke in our street dresses like a bishop . . . . the full gear, big purple mitre, flowing robes, and a magnificent staff. I'm not entirely convinced that he's a real one, though, 'cos I've never seen him move diagonally.
Oscars 2022: Venus Williams risks a wardrobe malfunction in a VERY low-cut white dress. Her c*ck might fall out.
A woman has a problem with her wardrobe door in the bedroom. Every time a bus passes outside the house, the door of the wardrobe would fall off. She called a repairman to try and fix the problem. The repairman comes, and he sees that indeed the door did fall off every time a bus passed by. "Okay!" said the repairman, 'I'm going to step inside the wardrobe, you close the door behind me, and I'll see if I can detect the problem." So he steps into the wardrobe. The wife closes the door behind him. At this point the husband suddenly arrives home and finds his wife in the bedroom talking to someone. He rushes over and opens the wardrobe door, sees the repairman, and shouts "What the hell are you doing in there?" The repairman meekly replies "Well believe it or not, I’m waiting for a bus"
