My hot neighbor wanted to have sex all night long… She’s single . . . She lives right across the street. I can see her house from my living room. I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street in the rain and up my driveway. She knocked on my door . . . I rushed to open it. She looked at me, and said, “I just got home, and I am so horny! I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk and have sex all night long! Are you busy tonight?” I immediately replied, “Nope, I’m free . . . I have no plans at all!” Then she said, “Good! In that case, could you watch my dog?”
Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Lee's wife, Sue, wasn't wearing any underwear. Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Lee's wife, Sue, followed and asked, 'Did you see anything that you like under there?' Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, he did. Sue said, 'Well, you can have it but it will cost you £250.' Jim confirmed that he is very interested. Sue told him that since her husband Lee played golf Friday afternoons and Jim didn't, Jim should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon. When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Lee's house at 2 p.m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum, they went to the bedroom, and Sue gave him a flipping great time. Jim quickly dressed and left. As usual, Lee came home from golf at 6 p.m. and upon arriving, asked his wife: 'Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?' With a lump in her throat Sue answered, 'Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.' Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, 'Did he give you £250? Sue, using her best poker face, replied, 'Well, yes, in fact he did.' Lee, with a satisfied look on his face, continued, 'Good. He came by the golf club this morning and borrowed £250 from me. He promised he'd stop by this afternoon and pay it back.' Now THAT, my friends, is how poker should be played..
I don't know why anyone wants to turn this into the Dr. Strangelove (politics) thread for 'point scoring' when there already is one This thread is for laughs . . . . we can even incorporate Boris (political) type stuff in it, in a nice way, like this . . . . please log in to view this image
i don't know why anyone would take offence to light hearted skits of Starmer on the Strangelove thread after so many skits of Tories, has North Korea arrived, or those who only like one way traffic complaining, ok for me but not for thee mentality
A Liverpool fan walks past a shop and sees the video "Liverpool - The Glory Years". He goes into the shop and asks how much. "£100" says the shopkeeper. "That's a bit steep, how come it's so dear ??" "Well its a tenner for the video and £90 for the Betamax recorder!!
Heard the sad news today. The man who invented Predictive Text has pasted away. His funfair is next monkey......
