Cooking hell that joke is poor. It Gas to be the worst ever. Oven if it was amusing I'd Fry not to laugh.
Don't understand all the fuss over the Liverpool Cab bombing. More innocent people died on the Alex Baldwin film set.
Women, think you can multi-task? Try pushing down an erection while aiming at the toilet. Can't do it? Then shut the f*ck up
My dad always used to say, "Go for the ugly girls, they never know when they'll get sex again." Plan kind of backfired, I married the first one.
Isn't it ironic how women spend hours deciding what to wear, and all guys do is try to picture them naked.
at twenty my aim mate was the quickest way to get em off, not all attempts worked to plan but the estate car took some ammer
A fella gets a job at the local zoo, which is a great opportunity. First day, the head zookeeper tells him to go to the aviary and feed the finches 'but don't spook them, 'cos they're very sensitive' he says Half way through, he drops the feed bowls with a clatter and a bang, the finches take fright, darting around the aviary, crashing into one another, leaving dead finches on the floor. Aghast, he decides to throw them into the lions enclosure, 'cos no-one will find them there. Second day, head zookeeper tells him to muck out the chimanzee enclosure 'but don't let them mix - make sure that they're in their separate enclosures or they will be fighting' he said He starts ok but forgets to lock the enclosures, some escape and start fighting, and two die. 'Nooooo I will get the sack . . . . what can I do ?' So he chucks the dead ones in the lion enclosure . . . . they'll never get found in there. Third day, head zookeeper tells him to check on the apiary, making sure that he doesn't get stung. He is half way through and accidentally trips over one of the hives, the bees swarm, pandemonium ensues and he tramples a lot of bees in the melee. Well, its worked the first couple times, so he shovelled up the dead bees and cast them into the lion enclosure. A couple of days later a new lion arrives at the zoo. He struts his stuff in the new (to him) enclosure, greets the other lions and asks . . . .'what's the food like here ?' One lion announces that it's not bad, been a funny week though, so far this week we had . . . . Finch, chimps and mushy bees 'What no curry sauce?' he says 'No ! What do you think we are . . . . ****ing animals ?'
The man who wrote "The Lion sleeps tonight" has been eaten by a crocodile. Apparently he couldn't wim away in time.
