"Can I ask you something personal?" asked my mate down the pub. "How long does it normally take you to masturbate?" "That depends," I said. "If I just want a quick orgasm about 45 seconds, but if I want to draw it out it can be up to an hour." "Well, could you make this a quick one?" he said. "Only it's your round."
I see that Man utd have tried to get Steve Bruce . . . . The club said "he might be old but he must be better than Harry Maguire"