People setting off fireworks in September is ridiculous . . . . my cat was so scared that she ran up the Christmas tree.
Last week my mother in law, who lives with us, started to read "The Exorcist" She said that it was the most evil book that she'd ever read, and she couldn't finish it. The next day she went to the beach and threw it into the North Sea off South Shields pier. I bought another copy, ran the bathroom tap over it and left it on her bedside table when she was asleep. I don't know why, but she screamed when she woke up !
Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking. Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out on a date. I know that you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer." Edna: "Well, I'll tell you. He showed up at my house punctually at 7 P.M., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brought me such beautiful flowers ! Then outside, and what was there but a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he took me out for dinner, a marvellous dinner . . . . lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks. Then we went to see a show. Let me tell you, Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much that I could have just died from pleasure! Then we came back to my house and he turned into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tore off my expensive new dress and had his way with me . . . . twice !" Dorothy: "Goodness gracious ! . . . . so you are telling me that I shouldn't go out with him ?" Edna: "No, no, no . . . . I'm just saying wear an old dress."