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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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  2. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  3. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  4. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  5. Somebodys pinched my sombrero

    Somebodys pinched my sombrero Well-Known Member

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    Love that!
     
    #11105
  6. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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  7. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #11107
    Ozzymac and Gil T Azell like this.
  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    The female ref has pulled a red card out of her shorts.

    Hang on, that's not a card
     
    #11108
  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A beautiful fairy appeared one day to an asylum seeker claimant outside the Social Security Offices. ‘ My good man,’the fairy said, ‘ I’ve been told by Boris to grant you three wishes, since you’ve just arrived in Britain with your wife and seven children – all costs to be borne by the British Tax Payers.'
    The man told the fairy: 'Well, in Afghanistan where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.'. The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and… PING !!! The Asylum Seeker had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!

    'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two more wishes to go'. The Asylum Seeker refugee claimant now got bolder. 'I need a big house with a three car garage on the coast with eight bedrooms – and a Gold Visa Card in each room - for my family and the rest of my refugee relatives who still live in Afghanistan; I want to bring them all over here.

    PING ! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ, and a sparkling swimming pool and a BMW, full of his nephews playing their music

    'One more wish left for you', said the fairy, waving her wand. The Asylum Seeker refugee claimant really decided to go for broke now and said “I want to be British with British clothes instead of the rags and shawl and I want to have white skin like the British.'
    PING ! - The man was transformed, wearing worn-out trainers, a dirty Man Utd T-shirt and a greasy baseball hat. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon.
    ‘What happened to my new teeth? ‘he wailed. 'Where is my new house? Where’s my Visa Gold Card?'

    The fairy said 'Tough luck. Now that you are British, you're entitled to sweet **** all like the rest of us.
    And she disappeared.
     
    #11109
  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    My wife just asked me if her appendix scar made her look unattractive. Apparently the response of "don't worry babe, your tits cover it" wasn't the answer she was looking for.
     
    #11110

  11. Saf

    Saf Not606 Godfather+NOT606 Poster of the year 2023

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #11111
  12. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #11113
  14. Smug in Boots

    Smug in Boots Well-Known Member

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    True story that I thought was funny.

    My mate had his neighbours round to watch the England match on his big screen in the garage. The kids, around 9/10 year olds were in the corner muttering and giggling away at half time. They wouldn't say why they were laughing but the adults eventually realised that it was whenever Roy Keane was on.


    Every time that he said something like "You can't be messing around in the final turd," they'd fall on the floor laughing <laugh>
     
    #11114
  15. Ozzymac

    Ozzymac Well-Known Member

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    #11115
    Makemstine Roger and Snaggey like this.
  16. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #11116
  17. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #11117
    Snaggey and spirit of 73 like this.
  18. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #11118
    spirit of 73 likes this.
  19. Essayyeffcee

    Essayyeffcee Well-Known Member

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    #11119
  20. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #11120
    MrRAWhite and spirit of 73 like this.

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