I silently farted in bed last night and slowly lifted up the quilt. After a few seconds my wife said, "F*cking hell that stinks!" It must've been pretty awful, she was downstairs at the time.
I'm sick of these erectile dysfunction adverts on TV at the moment. If I wanted to be reminded of it I'd just watch the wife getting ready for bed ffs.
When ya trying to eat ya brekkie and people are sneezing and coughing up phlegm. Nearly put me off my oyster sandwich
I've been paying £5 a month to the Cats Protection League for over a year. I missed 2 payments and they've just been round and broken my cat’s legs !
I’m using this platform to inform you all about the nutritional value of dried grapes. it’s all about raisin awareness.