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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    substitute sky for muff
     
    #10421
    Gil T Azell likes this.
  2. Ozzymac

    Ozzymac Well-Known Member

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    Then zero :1980_boogie_down:
     
    #10422
  3. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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  4. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    Brucie looking for that last steak bake.

    brucie.jpg
     
    #10424
  5. Deletion Requested1

    Deletion Requested1 Well-Known Member

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    Looks like he found a mini sausage roll instead <laugh>
     
    #10425
  6. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    looks like he is finishing off a hand job<laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh>
     
    #10426
  7. Smug in Boots

    Smug in Boots Well-Known Member

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    Must be 'dusting himself down' with flea powder.
     
    #10427
  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    the lass from doone the Bigg Market has me man sausage itchy
     
    #10428
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2021
  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #10429
  10. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    My driving instructor told me to pull over somewhere safe.
    Ten minutes later he said, "Why haven't you pulled over yet?"
    I said, "Because we're still in Liverpool..
     
    #10430

  11. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #10431
    Draig, Gil T Azell and cumbrianmackem like this.
  12. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #10432
    Draig, cumbrianmackem and gelders pie like this.
  13. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    Read it properly . . . .
     
    #10433
    Draig, samwise_new and cumbrianmackem like this.
  14. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #10434
    Draig likes this.
  15. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #10435
    Draig and Robertson like this.
  16. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    A man was driving down the road when his car breaks down near a monastery.

    He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says,

    “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"

    The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car.

    As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. A sound unlike anything he's ever heard before.

    The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship comes to his mind. He doesn't sleep that night; he tosses and turns trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a seductive sound.

    The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."

    Distraught, the man is forced to leave. Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man goes back to the monastery and pleads for the answer again.

    The monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk.”

    The man says, "If the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful sound is to become a monk, then please, make me a monk."

    The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of grains of sand. When you find these answers, you will have become a monk."

    The man sets about his task. After years of searching he returns as a grey-haired old man and knocks on the door of the monastery. A monk answers. He is taken before a gathering of all the monks.

    “In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I travelled the earth and have found what you asked for: By design, the world is in a state of perpetual change. Only God knows what you ask. All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and reflective and willing to strip away self deception."

    The monks reply, "Congratulations. You have become a monk. We shall now show you the way to the mystery of the sacred sound."

    The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says,

    “The sound is beyond that door."

    The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.

    Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man is given the key to the stone door and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. And so it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald, pearl and diamond.

    Finally, they come to a door made of solid gold. The sound has become very clear and definite.

    The monks say, "This is the last key to the last door."

    The man is apprehensive; his life's wish is behind that door! With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns the knob, and slowly pushes the door open.

    Falling to his knees, he is utterly amazed to discover the source of that haunting and seductive sound . . . . but, of course, I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.
     
    #10436
    Draig and Sunderpitt like this.
  17. gelders pie

    gelders pie Well-Known Member

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    You sod !
     
    #10437
  18. Ozzymac

    Ozzymac Well-Known Member

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    **** off (but i like it :) )
     
    #10438
  19. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    Ha ha I didn’t read it, so there! Did really, git.<laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh>
     
    #10439
  20. Saf

    Saf Not606 Godfather+NOT606 Poster of the year 2023

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    #10440
    RTB, Makemstine Roger, Draig and 2 others like this.

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