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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #8681
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2021
  2. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    I’ve just joined a book club for drinkers.

    First up is Tequila Mockingbird.
     
    #8682
  3. Comfy

    Comfy Well-Known Member

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  4. Nordic

    Nordic Well-Known Member

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    i'll need to wear glasses looking at my phone screen. i can just about type
     
    #8684
    Sunderpitt likes this.
  5. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    If Carlsberg did messages in the snow!!!
     
    #8685
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2021
  6. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    78
     
    #8686
    Makemstine Roger and gelders pie like this.

  7. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    #8687
    Nig, mrs em, Sunderpitt and 3 others like this.
  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #8688
  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger were discussing who they were going to play in the new Hollywood Blockbuster: The Great Composers!
    "I wanna be Beethoven," said Stallone.
    "I gotta be Mozart," replied Willis
    "What about you, Arnie?" they asked............"I'll be Bach !"
     
    #8689
    Nig, Montysoptician and Gil T Azell like this.
  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #8690
  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    THE SILENT TREATMENT
    A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

    Men are simply not equipped for these kinds of contests.
     
    #8691
  12. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #8692
  13. Deletion Requested1

    Deletion Requested1 Well-Known Member

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    Boris Johnson has just announced that everyone who was alive the last time Newcastle United won a trophy has now been vaccinated <laugh>
     
    #8693
    Saf, mrs em, Gil T Azell and 4 others like this.
  14. Snaggey

    Snaggey Well-Known Member

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    Excellent....makes up for your "colourblind" joke.
    :emoticon-0136-giggl
     
    #8694
  15. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Can't believe the amount of people that don't understand erectile dysfunction!


    I mean, it's not that hard.
     
    #8695
    Saf, gelders pie, Gil T Azell and 2 others like this.
  16. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Clubbers in Yorkshire have taken to using dental syringes to inject liquid Ecstasy directly into their mouths.

    This dangerous process is known as 'E by gum'
     
    #8696
  17. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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  18. Snaggey

    Snaggey Well-Known Member

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    Not so much a joke, but I had to laugh....
    I live in Consett, there's about 6 inches of snow, and its -6.
    Daughters boyfriend, who is originally from London, but has lived here for 3 years (he's 19), asked why its always so cold...."is it because you are on the coast"?
    Me....Nah, not that mate, the coast is about 25 miles away.....i think its just cos we are high up.
    Reply....."ah right, like Sweden".
     
    #8698
  19. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    Just saw this on Facebook and was going to put it on here, but you beat me to it..
     
    #8699
  20. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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