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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

Page 426 of 1932
  1. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    I left my ex because she wouldn't stop counting. I wonder what she's up to now?
     
    #8501
    MrRAWhite, Jan 31, 2021
    Draig, Gil T Azell, farnboromackem and 7 others like this.
  2. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
    They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."
    The Englishman opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Ham and English mustard again! If I get ham and mustard one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
    The Scotsman opened his lunch and said, "Haggis again. If I get a haggis sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."
    Next day The Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death.
    The Englishman opens his lunch, sees ham and English mustard and jumps too.
    The Scotsman opens his lunch, sees the haggis and jumps to his death also.
    At the funeral The Englishman’s wife is weeping. She says, "If I'd known how really tired he was of ham and mustard I never would have given it to him again!
    The Scotsman’s wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him cheese! I didn't realise he hated haggis so much."
    Everyone turned and stared at The Irishman’s wife. "Hey, don't look at me" she said. "He makes his own lunch"
     
    #8502
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 31, 2021
    mrs em, Nordic, Draig and 8 others like this.
  3. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A real woman is a mans best friend. She'll never stand him up or let him down, will reassure him when he feels insecure & comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him 2 do things he never thought he could do, enable him 2 express deep emotions & make him feel confident, sexy, seductive & invincible - No wait - I'm thinking of beer, It's beer that does that. Sorry
     
    #8503
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 31, 2021
    Nordic, Nathan Brazil, Snaggey and 3 others like this.
  4. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    I used to cough to cover a fart, now I fart to cover a cough !!
     
    #8504
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 31, 2021
    Draig, MrRAWhite, Gil T Azell and 2 others like this.
  5. Montysoptician

    Montysoptician Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #8505
    Montysoptician, Jan 31, 2021
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  6. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    To be honest, staff at my local Sainsburys were under the assumption that I've been panic buying alcohol for the last four and a half years.......
     
    #8506
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 31, 2021
    Godfrey, MrRAWhite and Gil T Azell like this.

  7. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Germany bracing itself for Corona Virus new variants. People are visiting hospitals in the early mornings to put towels on intensive care beds.
     
    #8507
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 31, 2021
    Draig, MrRAWhite, Gil T Azell and 3 others like this.
  8. Nig

    Nig Well-Known Member

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    #8508
    Nig, Jan 31, 2021
    Gil T Azell and Makemstine Roger like this.
  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #8509
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 31, 2021
    mrs em, Nordic, MrRAWhite and 4 others like this.
  10. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    Now there is no footie, I spoke to the wife.

    She seems nice and she no longer works at Woolworths....
     
    #8510
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 31, 2021
    mrs em, MrRAWhite, Deletion Requested1 and 2 others like this.
  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #8511
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 31, 2021
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  12. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    "Sorry I'm late home," I said as I arrived back from work. "Some bloke had lost a £20 note in Tesco."
    "Were you helping him look for it?" asked my wife.
    "No, I was standing on it!"
     
    #8512
    Gil T Azell, Jan 31, 2021
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  13. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    <laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh><laugh>
     
    #8513
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 31, 2021
    Gil T Azell likes this.
  14. Deletion Requested1

    Deletion Requested1 Well-Known Member

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    IMG-20210131-WA0002_resized.jpg
     
    #8514
    Deletion Requested1, Jan 31, 2021
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  15. Deletion Requested1

    Deletion Requested1 Well-Known Member

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    IMG-20210131-WA0004_resized.jpg
     
    #8515
    Deletion Requested1, Jan 31, 2021
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  16. Deletion Requested1

    Deletion Requested1 Well-Known Member

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    IMG-20210131-WA0005_resized.jpg
     
    #8516
    Deletion Requested1, Jan 31, 2021
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  17. Deletion Requested1

    Deletion Requested1 Well-Known Member

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    IMG-20210131-WA0008_resized.jpg
     
    #8517
    Deletion Requested1, Jan 31, 2021
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  18. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    Does anyone know where I can get some of those blurry number plates for my car that I've seen on the TV?
     
    #8518
    Gil T Azell, Jan 31, 2021
    Makemstine Roger, MrRAWhite, Gordon Armstrong and 1 other person like this.
  19. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan Forum Moderator

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    IMG-20210131-WA0004.jpg
     
    #8519
    Gordon Armstrong, Jan 31, 2021
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  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #8520
    Makemstine Roger, Jan 31, 2021
    farnboromackem likes this.
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