Some people say that I never got over my obsession with Phil Collins, but . . . . take a look at me now.
An elderly gentleman goes for a check-up. After his exam the doctor said to him "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to ask me about?" "In fact, I do," said the old man. "After I have sex I am usually hot and sweaty, and then, after I have it with her the second time, I am usually cold and chilly." After examining the old man's elderly wife, the doctor said, "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?" The lady said that she had no questions or concerns, and the doctor then said to her: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex with you the first time, and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?" "Oh that crazy old Git, she replied. "That's because the first time is usually in August, and the second time is in January!
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?" The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched thinking that her husband was so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?" "Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues..."Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years". "I remember that too", she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... "I would have gotten out today!"
Bloke goes to the counter in the car wash and the assistant says that’s £5 paddy, paddy says how do you know I’m Irish the assistant says we don’t get many coming through on a motorbike.
This lovely well matched couple on ‘Escape to the Country’ today !!! What the f*ck does he see in her ?
