I was chatting to a girl in a bar when I leaned in and said, "I've got something to tell you, c*nt , sh*t , f*ck , b*llocks." "You've got Tourettes?" she frowned. I said, "No! My wife's just walked in.
I’m doing a quiz and need some help... I know Henry VIII had 6 wives - There was Catherine of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, Anne of Cleves, Catherine Howard, Catherine Parr but, for the life of me, I can’t remember the surname of the one called Jane....See more
Murphy says to Paddy, "Why are you doin' talkin into an envelope?" "Isn't it obvious, I'm sending a voicemail. Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador.” Blow that" says Mick, “have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
When I was in the pub I heard a couple of plonkers saying that they wouldn't feel safe on an aircraft if they knew the pilot was a woman. What a pair of sexists. I mean, it's not as if she'd have to reverse the bloody thing!
