Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

The wife is painting the bedroom in hot pants and topless...

I don't know who's wife she is but these binoculars are well worth the money!

 

As funny as they are it’s obvious that the majority of them are ‘digitally reworked’.

 

yep mate thats the very fella. if you look carefully you will see he has a gravy stained black and white mag top on.....

 

I've been working on a guidance system to launch a tennis ball and knock my neighbours turban off ...

.... it's a sort of Sikh hitting missile

 

A blonde called her boyfriend and said, “Please come over here and help me… I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.”
Her boyfriend asked, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”
The blonde said, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”
Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle. She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle spread all over the table. He studied the pieces for a moment, then looked at the box, then turned to her and said, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.”
He took her hand and said, “Second, I’d want you to relax… Let’s have a nice cup of hot chocolate, and then…”
He sighed, “let’s put all these Frosties back in the box !"

 

its a cracker

 

I was out drinking with a bunch of Goths last night ...

... when we were driving back onto the estate they turned into a flock of bats.


The bloke at Greggs tried telling me they'd completely run out of stock ...

... I said, "That's a total lack of pies!"

 

Rick Astley has admitted he's **** at custard pie fights. He said "he'd never run around and dessert you"

 

I was sat with my girlfriend's dad as she was upstairs getting ready, when the embarrassing photos made an appearance.
"Here she is in the bath. She hates me showing this to anyone."
He just looked at me and said, "F*ck off out of my house."

 

Ha.. Loved this one..

 

Looks just like mine

 

I dont pack mine away, I put it away as it is, ie fully decorated. Baubles, lights, the lot!!
I just wrap the thing up and put it in the loft. This pic is off a couple of years ago, I dont use the bin bags anymore. I have "refined" it now, and walk around it with a roll of cling film. It stops the baubles falling off as i carry it.

 

Ahh, well if it is not a pine smelling, needle dropping real tree, its not a true Christmas, possibly an Xmas though...

 

There was a firing squad...

The man asked for a last request...

Can Danny Graham and Will Grigg be the firing squad

 

The Beatles