A nun is in the bath. There is a knock on the bathroom door. "Who's there?" nervously says the nun. "A blind man" says the man outside. "Oh. In that case, come in my dear." says the nun. The blind man opens the door and goes in and says "Nice tits. Where shall I hang the blinds?"
I was in the park with my dog when I saw a bloke walking towards me, "Excuse me, " I said, "I'm curious, how will you vote in the election?" "Conservative, " he replied, "can't trust Labour. " With that, my dog bit him, So I carried on and saw another chap and asked him the same question, "Always tory, " he said, got to keep the workers in their place. " With that, my dog bit him as well. So I carried on and met a woman and asked her how she was going to vote in the election, "Labour, " she replied, "the only party to be honest, fair and just. " With her reply my dog bit her as well. I learned something today. My dog doesn't give a **** about politics.
I'm going trick or treating around Bradford tonight putting the ****s up everyone.. I'll be knocking on people's doors dressed as an immigration officer.
It's my scouse nephews birthday tomorrow, so I've decided to treat him, I've slipped £20 in his nans' purse.
Q: what is the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Skunks supporter? A: Skid marks in front of the dog.
