Wife in bed says "Tonight I'm going to make you the happiest man alive" "Don't be daft" Husband replies" Who's gonna help you pack at this time of night?
I loved that chubby brown joke to be fair, "Av won the lottery lass, pack yer bags" "Where we garn" ? "Just pack em an fook off".
I was eating a bag of crisps last night, and on the back of the packet it said: ''Not to be sold separately'' I thought: ''Who the f*ck buys just one crisp.
I got this new deodorant yesterday. The instructions said remove cap and push up bottom. I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells lovely.
Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador.” Blow that" says Mick, “have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"
19 Irishmen go to the cinema, the ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?" Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over."