Sorry. I've got a bird of prey that only dances to 80s music at night... Our kestrel manoeuvres in the dark
Just Overheard from a Husband to his Wife of over 50 years: You Helped Make Me What I Am Today! Broke..
I walked into Subway and said to the cashier, “I’ve just bought a sandwich from you, I took one bite and 2 teeth fell out” “maybe you bit down too hard?” she replied “they’re not my teeth.” I said.
I was flirting with a drunk girl in a club last night, when I slowly ran my hand up her skirt and slipped my index finger into her minge. As she started panting, 1 finger became 2, then 2 fingers became 3 and before I knew it she had 4 fingers inside her. That’s when I looked at my mates and said, “will you three just f*ck off?”
I've been left permanently crippled after a botched hip replacement by a cartoon character ... ... it was a real Mickey Mouse operation.
I met a girl in a nightclub and went back to hres for the night. Things got a bit hot and heavy when she whispered to me "Put a finger in me" which of course i promptlt did. She then said "put another finger in me" so i complied again. A short time later she whispered "try your hold hand" and i thought "ok. nothing ventured nothing gained" Then she said, "now your other hand as well". I thought this girl really knows what she wants. 30 secs later she said "Now clap" to which i replied "I can't" She looked at me and said "tight aren't i"
