There was panic at last year’s Paranoid Schizophrenia Association annual pantomime, when someone from the audience shouted 'he's behind you'
Just heard that there is going to be a round of applause for Dame Vera Lynn, don't know where, don' t know when
Former Arsenal manager found next to the Emirates football ground setting fires outside. Police suspect Arsene.
I went to the shops yesterday, and I wasn't Impressed . . . . Boots had no boots, Selfridges had no fridges, no curry in Currys, and Virgin Mega Store was a massive dissapointment !
Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter comes and takes their drinks order. “I would like a Sprite,” said the first little piggy. “I would like a Coke,” said the second little piggy. “I want water, lots and lots of water,” said the third little piggy. The drinks are brought out and the waiter takes their orders for dinner. “I want a nice big steak,” said the first piggy. “I would like the salad plate,” said the second piggy. “I want water, lots and lots of water,” said the third little piggy. The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert. “I want a banana split,” said the first piggy. “I want the apple pie,” said the second piggy. “I want water, lots and lots of water,” exclaimed the third little piggy. “Pardon me for asking,” said the waiter, “but why have you only ordered water?” The third piggy says . . . . “Well, somebody has to go ‘wee, wee wee' all the way home"
