Just answered a knock at the door and there was a 6 foot beetle that stuck the nut on me - broke my nose. Phoned the doctor and he confirmed there is a nasty bug going round
I said to my wife in bed last night, "Do you have to scratch during sex?" She said, "Shhh, I think I've won a tenner!"
Dunno if I have put this on before but the ex-wife is that thick she had a medical examination carried out by a young male doctor. When he told her that he thought she had acute angina she thanked him.
Sent this to an Italian mate and a cousin in South Shields who i think may have a holiday booked in Italy. Both weren't impressed
This was posted on the website of one of the councils in New South Wales I'm guessing whoever wrote the release isn't employed anymore. please log in to view this image
In shock news, Love Island pair Curtis and Maura reveal that they faked love for 3 months to cling on to fame. Try 27 f*cking years, said an anonymous This Morning presenter.
Although a corona virus was reported to have been detected in St James Park , there is no need for concern . It already fled back to China in case it caught something .